Friday, 28 December 2012

The Best and the Worst of Times

:( :( :(

Sure makes you grateful for what you have! :(

Christmas 2012

The kids were with us this year which made for a fun time.  We did the whole santa thing for the littlies which was exciting for them.  Even left milk and cookies and a carrot out and took bites out of it so it looks like Santa has been. 

Spent the day at my sister's house after I'd spent the few days prior cooking my butt off and baking all sorts of treats for the day.  It was lovely as my uncle and auntie came up from Withcott to spend christmas with us which was nice and we've vowed to spend more time with them.  E (my sister) and I have been talking about my uncle and how much value he has to the history of our family.  He is the only one left that can remember things and has all sorts of information that we were previously ignorant of.  We really need to get as much info as we can and document it as once he's gone...that's it.  Not just that but they are just such lovely people and I regret not spending more time with them.

Anyway...mum came later in the night and we spent more time with her while eating leftovers and yummy stuff.  We then played board games till 2 am...then stumbled home tired and bloated! LOL

I woke up the next morning in a fair bit of pain around my bra area....back and front.  I'm guessing it's gall bladder related as my body isn't used to so much fatty carbs and junk!  I've been eating so well for the past year that spending the day eating and drinking copious amount of fats and sugars must've shocked my body a bit.  Goes to show just how much on the right track I've been all this time.  Not just that but the way I've been feeling the last few days...tired, lethargic, bloated and gross...means that I probably felt like that all the time before my health kick!  Imagine that!  I always thought I felt this way because I was a busy mum but now I was all the crap I was eating and dehydration (got quite dehydrated the last few days because I was drinking soft drink and no water at all).  So there you go.  Taking the next few days getting my diet back on track (healthy diet)...drinking more water.  Surprise!  I'm starting to feel more human already.

So the next day (boxing day) we spent at home then went ten pin bowling with my sister and her husband and the fam.  Was quite surprised at how good I am at bowling LOL  I was kicking butt!  Until everyone got the shits and put the guard rails on then I was totally distracted by the guard rails and sucked!  LOL  I won the first game but still came second for the second game...despite the rails LOL

Anyway...the kids have gone to their dad's for a week and I'm here with the two little guys and spending the time getting the house back in order....and our diets :)

Overall it's been a great christmas! 

Thursday, 22 November 2012

Breaking Dawn Part 2

Exceeded all my expectations!

That final fight scene had me gasping and shaking my head.  I was in shock as were the rest of the theatre.  The other movies, although good...were pretty 'ho hum' but this one being the finale and all that, yeh I think they really pulled out all the stops!

Loved every second of it and for those who haven't seen it yet...and even those who've read the book and think you know how it plays out, you're in for a shock as there's a twist and it's a massive one!!!!

Ps - they played our song!!!!!!  A Thousand Years - by Christina Perry <---- I walked down the aisle to that song!  Gorgeous!

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Aaah Bliss!

Did I mention how much easier 2 kids are?  Compared to 6?  Like you might say...well duh!  But I don't think anyone really realises just how much easier it actually is, especially when you only have 1 or 2 kids yourself. 

As my husband works away for a week at a time.  I'm left here with 6 kids by myself.  Which is fine for the most part.  And you do get used to it but I tell you what...every second weekend when my oldest 4 go to their dad's and I'm left here with just 2?  UTTER BLISS!!!!!!

Seriously!  It's more peaceful.  The house is cleaner...I mean seriously what's a few toys when there's usually school bags, socks, books, bits of paper, school notes and kitchens totally destroyed by children who can now 'cook' (apparently).  Let's put it to you this way, when they are kitchen actually stays clean, because I'm the only one in it!!!!  I put things away and clean up as I go!  And no matter how many times I tell them, they don't always clean up after themselves and if they do...they do the bare minimum only and shmuch here (that's me) is left to do it all!

Nightimes are peaceful too...if not lonely at times.  Because the younger ones go to be at a reasonable hour but the older ones stay up later so I get my nights back IYKWIM?

Don't get me wrong!  Having older kids has its advantages, as when they're home they can do things for the little ones and I can sometimes duck out and pick up things at the shops or for a coffee without dragging a bunch of kids around.  So there are advantages.

But going to dad's tonight and I'm actually looking forward to the peace and a clean kitchen! 

Small things make us mums happy!

Sunday, 18 November 2012

Exactly What I Needed


Saturday, 17 November 2012


***Frankly I cant believe you are still talking about this.***

Well I am.  So what?

****No, you should not offer a room to someone and have them have to open it up to children who have not learned how to respect anyones belongings.****

My children were 2 and 4...they were still in the process of learning to respect people's belongings.  You don't expect someone's children to behave any different than your own children of similar age.  Your own child got into things too!  It was a rumpus room that they had free reign in up until that point!  You do not go to someone's house and take them up on their hospitality, take up a room that belonged to their children and magically expect that those children wouldn't find their way in there somehow!(especially when you couldn't lock the door).  If it wasn't my children that got into your stuff....if would have been your own child R!  Either way, it hadn't even happened yet and we could have discussed it and figured out a solution like I did with the family I bunked with when I was at the ripe old age of 19.  Her kids got into my suitcase and pulled out all my underwear and pads and things while she was in the shower!  But you know what I did?  Instead of harbouring my feelings, we discussed it like adults and found a solution.  Just like that!  It was THAT easy!  Who would have thought?  But no not you!  No you prefer to act the martyr or the victim and make out that it was a direct insult to you.  BTW I never had a room...I slept on their couch in their loungeroom while them and their kids lived their lives around me.....AND WAS GRATEFUL!!!!  A concept you clearly know nothing about!!!

*** Your children are beautiful as are mine.***

Save it!

***When you finally learn that giving does not come with conditions***

What conditions????  That was my downfall actually that I  DIDN'T have conditions!!!!  Are you serious??!!  That was where I went wrong with you.....I let you have free reign of my home!  I never once stipulated any conditions WHATSOEVER....YOU....however....had a whole bunch of hidden conditions of your stay here AND our friendship that I knew nothing about!  Are you kidding me?!  This is one area I have actually remmedied since knowing you!  I've actually put conditions ON my friendships now....BECAUSE OF YOU!!!    Speak for yourself!

***then you may finally learn how self centred you are.***

Me???  Excuse me I'm not the one who conducted a friendship...all the while watching and microanalysing the other person's every move then go to their wedding and sit and make unreasonable conclusions about them based on how the wedding was conducted.  Then ran around sending messages to said person about how terrible they are! YOU DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You're the one who's self-centred....have a fucking look at yourself!!!  You made it all about YOU!!!  And you are the ONLY one who did that - just you!!!!!  What does that say about you???

***If it gives you any condolence I again am unhomed and John is coming with me due to the fact another narcissist like yourself is saying we cant be together.***

Now I'm a narcissist???  You're deluded!  You have no idea.  I never ONCE told you you couldn't be together with J - NOT ONCE!!!!!    What the fuck are you on about???  It's funny how these things keep happening to YOU isn't it?  What?...did you harbour ill feelings against that person too did you?....did you then let it out and show how ungrateful you are did you?  And this is what you get???  It's funny how things work? you are...the victim....again!  The world is out to get you R....look out!  Ppppppfffffffttttttt!

*** Get the fuck over yourself. *** you get over yourself!  Go and be the vicitimised martyr somewhere else...I'm not interested!

***Goodbye. Another chapter in my life I dont want to look back on.***

Yeh you keep saying that but you KEEP on finding a way to send me direct messages!!!  I have never actually sent you ANY direct messages!!!  I have not messaged you, your children your husband nor have I ever called you about anything.  YOU on the other hand, keep coming back!  You come and read MY BLOG then find a way to message me!  This is my blog about my thoughts!!! You come and you find ME and then assume I write about you then message me crap full of contridictions!!!  Do you have my blog saved in your favourites do you??  Do yourself a favour....delete it!!!!  It serves you no purpose other than being a sticky beak!  If you don't want to look back on the chapter then stop reading the fucking book!!!!! Fuck off and leave me alone R!!!!!  Some people would call this harrassment!!! 

***And for your information a Domestic Violence shelter is much more comfortable than your house.***

Oh really?  Is that why you complained about that too???

***clean it up.***

I do!  Stop just rocking up at people's places at 8 o'clock in the morning unannounced and expecting Buckingham fucking palace!!!

 ***teach your toddlers some manners***

You're one to talk...your 3 year old was pushing my 15mth old nephew down over and over again at my wedding and you didn't do a fucking God damn thing to stop her!!! 

 ***and shut the fuck up about me!***

I can do what I like, when I like and how I like on my own blog.  I have never mentioned your name!!!  I will not be dictated by the likes of YOU!!!  Stop reading my blog and you wouldn't even know what I'm talking about or who I'm talking about.  And while you're at it, don't assume I'm talking about YOU!!! 

No one forces you to read my blog you do that all on your own!!!  You've run out of ways to send messages to me so you come here so you can sticky beak on MY LIFE...then you can harrass me!  Is it getting to you?  That I'm so happy and having a great life??  Stop torturing yourself then!!!   FUCK OFF!!!  I don't go look at your you can leave me the fuck ALONE!!!!!  Maybe if you paid more attention to your own life you wouldn't be homeless....yet again!

So is your 'goodbye' for real now?  Or are you having me on again?  Because you just keep coming back!!

BTW I'm about to disable messages on here too now!  Isn't it sad that I have to do that...just so that you can't contact me!!!  When all the ways in which you can harrass me are I need to fear you coming to my home too?? (and driving off - yes we saw you that day *rolls eyes*)  Because you do realise...that by then...we'd probably need police involvement.  And none of us want that.  So do me and yourself a favour and be true to your word, if this is really goodbye (again) then mean it!  And leave me to my blog please!

Hahahahaha!!!  ~Laci <3

Wow! What a wacky couple of days!

It started a few weeks ago when one of my kids was walking along on her way to the shop and had a stick fly up and stab her in the ankle.  She comes inside and here's this stick just sticking out of her leg LOL  So I pull it out and see that it hadn't gone in that far.  She was in agony that night and I was umming and ahring about taking her to the hospital for a 'spot' really...I had actually been up there a few days prior when another one of my kids split her head open, and I was up there for 6 hours and didn't get home to 4 in the morning.  So really,....I didn't want to go through all that again for a spot so thought I'd wait till morning and see how she goes.

The next morning it didn't hurt as bad so I thought that it was probably on the mend and didn't worry about it.  Only she kept whinging about it on and off over the last few weeks, it would swell up and go back down a few times.  Finally her father took her to the doctor who ordered xrays and ultrasounds and she had bits of wood still stuck in her ankle near the bone.  So an appointment for the orthepedic surgeon was made for yesterday.  So step mum takes her up there as I had all the kids here.

Here I was thinking that they'd dither and dawdle about some more but no...I get a phonecall that my daughter was set to have surgery last night!!!

So I call my dad to come watch the kids while I head on up there to paediatrics to sit with my daughter, only to find out they'd rescheduled for this morning.  So I stayed there till about 8.30 as I had to go pick up my other daughter, while she stayed in overnight.

Head on up there again this morning where she went into theatre at about 12pm.  It was the hardest thing I ever had to brave and bubbly as she was, she finally fell apart just before she went in and cried saying "I don't want to do this mum". 

I remember going into surgery when I was 16 and remembering how scared I was....more about the unknown than anything.  It's surgery! 

So here we both were, dressed in our hospital garb crying together as they wheel her into theatre while I held her hand as they put her to sleep.

A couple of hours later she's wheeled back into paediatrics all sore and sorry for herself and pretty groggy.  Thankfully they got all the fragments out which were spread everywhere and had to be 'fished' for.  Bascially they wanted to get them out before an infection developed and it affected the bone - hence the mad rush to get it out!

So it's been a tough couple of days...especially since I didn't have Aaron about to be there for me.  And also having to be sitting around with my ex-husband and his wife....which was fine...but not exactly a walk in the park IYKWIM? 

Anyway...all over red rover and I got her home and well with a strapped up ankle.  Stitches out in two weeks :)

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Isn't it sad!

Isn't it sad that I hesitated in offering up my home to a friend in need today.  I so wanted to help.  While everyone around her was talking about staying in a women's shelter I was biting my tongue so I didn't offer my home. 

I have a large home.

I have a large rumpus room.

It is not the Taj Mahal...but it's a roof and it's somewhere to stay for a while for somebody who is desperate. 

I hesitated because I was hurt very badly by someone who I offered the very same room to.  She had a list of things that didn't appeal to her.  Even put me down for even offering it knowing that it's a rumpus room with toys and furnature in it and where kids play.  It caused me to become hesitant in offering anything to anyone in the future, even if I believed the person will be grateful, I can't be I hesitate! 

People are in need and I hesitate because of this ungrateful woman.  When I was younger I slept on someone's couch and was grateful!  Not this chick...nope, she wanted to be able to lock the door and lock her stuff up.  Yeh...sorry...I think maybe she was looking for a motel??


I did offer it in the end....but made stipulations that it wasn't Buckingham palace!  Hopefully she is the bigger person and is grateful!  Some women and their children are currently sleeping in their cars...perhaps this other woman would have preferred that?

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

The Travel Dreamers

Got my travel BLOG all set up and ready to go!!! 

Have a read!!!

Sunday, 7 October 2012

I Wanna Go to New Zealand!

Remember this post?  I Wanna Go to Italy! turns out, we're just going to make it happen! 

When we were talking of actually getting married, it was always "When we've finished paying this off" or "When we're both working"...etc But then one day we decided to make it happen!  I haven't really done anything because he just can't save.  We can't!  Well we haven't...till now!

A decision has been made and we're going to do it.  If we have to put $50 a week away till we accumulate enough money...then so be it!  But this is going to happen.

We've made a plan....first stop NEW ZEALAND!  Naturally!  We are going to aim for this time next year.  If we don't make it....then we don't make it, we're not going to kill ourselves to make it....we'll just have to make it later than we want, but we have an approximate date at the very least!  So far I've put away about $250...ha ha ha!  BUT it will grow and before you know it we'll have enough and we're out of here.

Our first real holiday!!!!

We'll be taking the two youngest children to NZ because it is their heritage and we would like for them to meet their great grandmother before she dies, however future travels will just be us.  Because we think that the others will have plenty of opportunity to travel themselves when they get older.  Plus we would never get there if we had to pay for everyone!  Although I think Dana and I have plans in the future...backpacking.  But that's a little ways off yet :)

So New Zealand it is!

 A lovely relaxing driving holiday, checking out the places Aaron grew up like Auckland and Tauranga, and checking out Matamata...Hobbit country and all the volcanic Guisers and things.

It's going to be so great!  And we're going to make it happen.  Watch this space!

Sunday, 30 September 2012

The Angels Take Manhattan!


Well I've just watched one of the most anticipated episodes of Dr Who for the season.  With all the hype going around about the Pond's departure I was expecting to be like this..


But I was more like this..


Call me heartless but it just didn't grab me this time. 

Oh I know what Moffat was going for and there were some parts there that I'm sure, if the kid's weren't running around and all was quiet and I was able to concentrate...I would have been more like this...


All in all, however, the Weeping Angels didn't dissappoint in freaking me out...especially the statue of liberty!

Had me going like this...

The Romeo and Juliet reference was not lost on me, but couldn't believe that they were going to go out like that...  I thought they were above that.  And I never really 'believed' in Amy and Rory's relationship in the first place, especially not to the point of not wanting to go on without the other.


But the most heartwrenching part throughout the whole episode was the Doctor's plees for Amy to not look away from the angel and to stay with him.



The reference to the Raggedy Man was a nice touch and took me back to Amy's and the Doctor's earlier relationship.

It was a nice touch to take it back to when she was the 'girl who waited' but they could have played that up a little more though.  But it was still sweet to refer back to that little girl who had so much faith that her Raggedy Man would come for her.


And it is how it ends for Amy but all of Dr Who Fandom is awaiting the intoduction of the Doctor's next companion...

and we will have to wait for the Christmas special now. 

So we'll be waiting for another 3 months for the next installment....


He loves to make us wait doesn't he?


Till then I stick with my Oswin theory and I guess we'll see if I'm even a little bit right huh? ;)

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Wow...Talk About Bridezilla!

Just heard the most amazing story about a girl we know who's getting married.  Apparently she comes from a well-to-do family who is marrying into money and her Fiance earns a lot of money. 

Her fiance bought her a $15,000 engagement ring which she accidently flushed down the toilet because it is so big and bulky that it got caught in the toilet paper...but no matter he's bought her another one.

Her wedding is going to cost $50,000 and is being held at a 5 star resort!  No, she's not a celebrity just a chick from Wynnum!

Add to that, she's turned into a right royal bitch.  She's threatened one of her bridesmaids saying that she better not get pregnant (the poor girl and her husband have been trying for a quite a while), because she will be fat and ruin her photos.  She texts her bridesmaids constantly and when they don't text back in a resonable amount of time, she rings them and tells them "When I text you about the wedding I expect an answer straight away please the wedding is getting close".  Has threatened all her bridesmaids about getting fat and ruining her wedding.

There are a few other things I'm hearing that I can't remember right now but recently she wrote this as her fb status..."So got an email saying my wedding planning has gone on extended sick leave and not sure when she'll be back.... But in the mean time we'll replace her with an inexperienced person who hasn't taken the time to review your file and takes her time at replying to emails!!!!!! Stressed bride - CHECK! Hope my bridesmaids are ready for tears!"

To which Aaron commented with..."The wedding isnt till next year toughen up. she probably has cancer."
To which she replied with "Aaron!!!!!! Hahahaha bloody hell".  She has now deleted Aaron as her friend LOL  (She used to be my friend too but deleted me aaaaages ago.  Wonder how bad she'd feel if the chick really did have a terminal illness...although she'd probably think how inconvenient of her to get sick!

The worst yet is that my sister in law's fiance has just been involved in a serious motobike accident where he's smashed his leg and arm into pieces and have had to have screws and plates put in and will be 6 months out of work (but thankfully covered by workcover).  This girl....without actually asking about her best friend's fiance has sent her a text saying that if she can't afford to be her bridesmaid (yes my sister in law has to pay for her dress etc...despite the chick being made of money) that she'll understand but would like to know now please as the wedding's coming up really fast.  What the??  Give the girl a chance!!!  She's not thinking about YOUR wedding right now honey...she's know...up at the hospital with her fiance which you kept saying "Ewwww" about when A finally got to tell you what's happened and what she'll have to do for the next few months for the man she loves (take to toilet, dress, bath, wipe arse, empty piss bottle). 

How's that for a Bridezilla huh?  And get this....the wedding is not till....wait for it......June NEXT YEAR!!!! 

And just to think that someone had the audacity to call ME a Bridezilla!!!  Not on your life!!!  I was freaking awesome!!!!  (And I didn't even have bridesmaids to boss around or unlimited money to splurge with and my wedding was still described as a designer wedding by said person BAAAHAAHAAHAAAAA!)

Saturday, 15 September 2012

Where Does it Come From??

Determination.  Where does it come from and what makes one person more determined than another? 

Lately...well...within the last few years or so I've noticed that I seem to be a lot more determined than most people.  I haven't really known why that is.  I'm no better than anybody else, I don't believe I'm stronger than others...quite frankly I find myself quite weak in the grand scheme of things.  Don't get me wrong...I'm strong, but I find that I'm not as strong as I know I can be, definetly not strong enough to have done the things I have done.  Sometimes I think I've gotten through it all from sheer fluke, rather than any real talent on my part.  I don't think much of myself, not in the low self-esteem type way but more in the realistic way.  Realistically speaking, I'm not all that.....and really I've had a long time to become ok with that.

But underneath it all..the weakness, my inability to handle stress or pressure all that well....I have this determination, that, I guess, have gotten me through.  I guess you can say it's a talent of sorts...I didn't create it, I don't think.  I was probably born with it I guess.  I must remember to ask my mum what she thinks about it...I'm sure she would say that I was stubborn.  And I guess stubborness has hindered me in some ways but not others.  I've noticed that stubborness has helped me in the important things.  I'm not one to quit easily...I fight.  I have too much pride to just give up on something....but then the 'something' has to be important to me and/or an actual decision rather than a pie in the sky idea.

I guess I should explore examples....

Losing weight!  Ah the master of all 'mountains' to get over for most people.  And just like most people I failed at that a few times.  I quit way too soon.  Which would give one the impression that I mustn't be very determined at all...I most certainly don't have any will power.  I stopped and started so many times!  But this is where it changed from this 'pie in the sky' ideal to an actual decision.  Once I actually made that decision THAT WAS IT!!!  I was determined.  I pulled out all the stops...I quit making excuses.  Trust me I had a lot of excuses and I could have formulated excuses anytime throughout my I had in the past, I was not above excuses...especially valid ones....oh they were all valid excuses!  Really they were!  But I was determined to do this.  I was sick of being a fatty.  I was sick of feeling down on myself and I was sick of seeing my self body issues dwindling...I WAS going to become healthy again and I was willing to do all that it took, as long as it was get there.

Isn't it funny to have that switch go off and suddenly you go from 'meh' to 'that's it I'm doing this'!  What makes this happen I wonder?  I had so much will power!  I went to the gym almost every day....I HATED THE GYM but I kept going anyway.  I wasn't going to allow my hatred for the gym or the inconvenience of the gym to get in the way of my goal.  I had a goal and I was going to reach it.  End of story.

Ok that's one example...

Another example would be Tupperware!  I used to be a tupperware lady.  I was good at it too, I was beginning to rake in some cash...or pocket money, if you will.  But then I fell pregnant and between morning sickness and tiredness (being pregnant with 5 other children to take care of was no easy feat) I just couldn't do it anymore, I became complacent, and would make a few mistakes....that ordinarily I wouldn't have made.  In the end I quit!  Now where was that determination then?  Yes I had an excuse...but I also know that there are many women who have been pregnant and had other children and worked full time and somehow managed.  They were able to do it...why wasn't I?  It came down to determination...they had it...I didn't. 

Perhaps Tupperware wasn't all that important to me at the time...perhaps that's why I didn't fight as hard...but then getting fit was important to me and yet I stopped and started that many a time. this is a big one.  I don't know where or how...but I had the determination and stubborness of a Bull!!!  I didn't realise it at the time...but over the years from talking to other mothers and watching them struggle I've realised that I must have been one hell of a stubborn old cow!!

I had EVERYTHING going against me!!!  I have had more 'issues' breastfeeding than a lot of other mothers (not all).  And yet they quit...and I didn't.  What made them quit and me succeed...not just once..oh no...but SIX TIMES?  I'm no stronger than them...seriously I spent a lot of my early motherhood falling apart, mainy from not having enough support in my life more than anything  And throughout all that, I never ACTUALLY fell apart...and I never ACTUALLY quit!  Breastfeeding was not easy...and I was not 'lucky' as I've been told must have been the case, in fact being told that I was 'lucky' felt very condescending...ok maybe I was lucky once....or even twice but to be lucky 6 times??  If I was so lucky how come I haven't yet won the lottery?? wasn't was determination, attitude and my management skills that got me through it.  But where did I get them from?  And why some things and with other things?

This brings me to daycare.  I've never been one to think much of daycare at all....although my opinion has since changed slightly since my aunt, who I admire and trust as a person, started working there.  Whilst understanding my concerns with childcare, she was able to share with me the positives that can come of it too.  So I'm not all that against it these days.  Nevertheless...I'm very proud of myself.  I don't know how...and I don't know why...but somehow I've managed to go almost 16 years as a mother...through having a husband that was never emotionally present...go through an awful and bitter breakup and divorce, being a single mother...hooking up with someone new and dealing with the adjustment that miscarriage and moving and depression and all that...and....NOT ONCE...have I EVER resorted to sending my children to daycare!  Not for any much as I may have needed a break or whatever the situation may have been...I never actually did send them. 

Again...I'm not better than anyone else but I think the difference with me is the way I think about things.  I think it's easy to blame the children for how hard your life is...that you need a break.  I don't mean blame in a negative sense either...more so see the children as the reason for XYZ.  I guess when I felt the most pressure in wanting to send them to daycare is when I changed how I saw the 'issue' itself.  So instead of thinking to myself 'Well maybe if I send such and such to daycare then things will be better because I can have that one day to myself blah blah blah" I thought "'s not the child that's the's how I'm dealing with said child/situation".  So in the case of wasn't the breastfeeding that was the enemy...breastfeeding was not causing my issues and my tiredness and the fact that I felt drained 24/7 it was my management of my management of my management of my tiredness. 

I guess I have this ability to ....eventually...cos lets face it initially I'd be all blaming of whatever until I actually stopped and thought about it LOL....see what the real problem was and rather than quit...try and see the situation and manage the situation another way. 

Take my son for instance....Rhys!  For a few years, probably from about 7/8 years (and on a smaller scale earlier than that even) till about 12ish...I had nothing but problems with him.  His behaviour at school...his behaviour at home.  My fear for him was that he was going to become a criminal by the time he hit his teens...and I was deadly serious.  I got it from every which way...I had people telling me that perhaps I should send my son away to live with his father.  I had it from his father.  I had it from Aaron.  I had it from my grandfather.  I had it from my mother.  I had it from friends.  They were all saying...."Hey maybe you should send him to live with his father!"...each person giving their reasons as to why I should.  But you know what?  I KNEW that that wasn't the answer!  I KNEW that quiting and sending my child away wasn't going to be the cure here.  I just KNEW it was worth the fight...HE was worth the fight.  And rather than look at HIM as the problem....rather I looked at my management of the situation.  Again...quitting would have been the easy thing to do...stopping breastfeeding would have been easy...sending my kids to daycare would have been easy....quiting weight loss would have been easy ....and sending my son away would have been easy too. 

To me...all those easy way outs just seemed such a copout!  Yes I could of stopped breastfeeding, it certainly would  have made my homelife better...maybe...but then what?  How would I feel about myself if I just quit...why?...because it got hard??  Hello!!!!  LIFE is hard!  Everybody has hard.  You don't just give up because it got hard!  You don't just send your kid to daycare cos it's don't just quit the gym because it's don't just send your child away cos it's hard!  What kind of a presedence does that set when you start quiting important things because it's hard?  What kind of a message would that have sent to my children?  To my son?  "Oh I sent you away because you got too hard".  I KNEW that if I had done that, it would have done way more damage to him...and I think also it would have sent a message to my other kids that they can be sent away too if life gets too hard.  That I can give up on my children...that I can give up on what's important...just like that! 

In the end, what all this detemination and stubborness has gotten me is a sense of pride and empowerment beyond belief!!!  Look what I've done???  I lost 25kg in 6 months...with 6 children to boot!  I breastfed 6 children for 6 years!!! (one year each was my goal)  I never resorted to dumping my kids into daycare just so I can have a 'break' (and God knows I needed one) and best of all I NEVER resorted to sending my son away because he became too hard. 

Things are so so so so much better with him now.  I don't know what's changed but it's been almost sudden, it's been almost an overnight change, that's how quick it was.  Our relationship has grown considerably!  I believe there's a few factors at play because he was slowly improving once we moved to Toowoomba and he started spending more time with his Dad...that was the beginning of the change.  But the vast improvement has come this year.  As much as I feared him starting highschool and thinking that if he can't cope with primary the hell would he be able to cope with highschool...he has thrived!!!  The change in him has been phenominal!  He is a different kid. To have his SOSE teacher call me and tell me "Rhys gives me the impression that he's got it all together"...yeh wow!  None of his primary teachers would have said that...NONE!

 I think that it's partly because he's matured and grown into himself, perhaps how highschool is structured and how he's treated at highschool (like an adult?) is better for thim.  But mostly I'd like to think the change within our relationship has come from knowing that I stuck by him and never gave up on him.  I just knew that it'd be the wrong thing to do and a copout and the message he would have gotten from me would have been that I give up when the going gets tough and he would have lost his trust in me something shocking.  I think he appreciates and trusts me more now.  Don't get me wrong, he's not perfect by any means and he still has his moments...but now days these moments are easily dealt with and probably no different from any other teen whereas before it was almost unbearable and beating me down.  But I'm glad I stuck to my guns because we are so much better off because of it.  He even has goals now for when he leaves school...we've both sat down and worked out plan A, plan B...etc etc  And for the first time he's showing enthusiasm for school work to the point where we are down to him only failing ONE subject!  And because he's showing all this promise now, I'm willing to hire a tutor for him for next term to sort that out.

So yes...stubborness and determination can be bad sometimes but it can also have good outcomes...where the hell it comes from in me? I don't know.  I'm really not all that...but somehow I dig deep down and I find this sense of determination and go like a bull at a gate and do not quit!  I may want to...I may come very close to but somehow my pride doesn't allow me to!

I just hope this gets me through Uni bahaahaaaaa! ;)

Saturday, 8 September 2012

My 'Oswin' Theory...

My theory on Oswin, being a genius and all, she saved 'herself', think 'Silence in the Library', Clara is merely her first name, Oswin being her middle name or vice versa. She's saved on 'file' somewhere and the doctor will download her.....if he remembers ;P
 Remember = computer 'memory'
 Oswin worked with computers, was able to hack the most advanced computer system in the universe - Dalak...make them 'forget'...would be able to make the Dr 'remember' via the Tardis even...OMG hack the tardis! Oh what an idea! Oh oh oh in the matrix Mr Anderson's name is 'Neo' his hacker name...Oswin is her hacker name too...her real name is Clara.
 She could be in the Tardis 'matrix'...waiting to be 'remembered'.
She will make herself 'known' to the doctor by playing that music, and he will remember her and download her from the tardis matrix like a program.
My other theory is, Oswin was talking to her mother, perhaps 'Clara' is her mother? But that's too boring LOL I like my theory better...yes Oswin was a Dalek but she was also human and a genius which is why the Daleks wanted her
And if that kid in 'Silence in the Library' can 'save' people on file then I'm sure Oswin can do it. Hacking the Tardis is a bit far fetched but so's Moffat so....
You saw it here first! ;)

Thursday, 6 September 2012

Doctor Who...worth getting up at 5am for!


Yes....I did!

We have been waiting for about year or so for the new season and when it finally came they were going to make us Aussies wait a week before they aired it.  Well thankfully in this digital age of 'internet' we didn't have to wait as ABC iview had it available at 5.10 on father's day morning for us all to watch about an hour after it aired in the UK.  Yay!

So what did I think of the first episode of the season? 

All in all?...


...but also mixed.  A combination of happiness that Dr Who is back and confusion that they introduced the doctor's new companion under another name, who ended up being a Dalek..

Who liked making souffles...

...and who they promptly killed off in the first episode.






Let's not let that spoil the fun though, for the poor doctor as we are made very well aware that she is going to be remembered...

image the question are they going to bring her back??? ..

.And more to the what form??

A Dalek with an identity crisis...


...a girl who bakes souffles who travels with a...

But I suppose we all know what happens to the Doctor when he travels alone..


But what of Amy and Rory?

Can they be killed off?.....again?

But they can't do that!!!!


Live in an alternate universe?...again?


Nope they can't do that either....I could not handle anymore of that...


Oh my poor heart!

Hmm I guess we'll have to wait and see.



Meanwhile I await....

,Fangirl excitedly .....

....for the next pre-airing on iview of....


 "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship" and wonder what's going to happen now that the question has been asked....

Will the silence fall?

Will there be more weeping Angels?


How about dancing Oods?


Bring back the Ballerina Dalek?


Who's to say?

I'm getting fidgetty with anticipation just thinking about it!


As for the Doctor much as I love 11,

I am still quite upset that 10 lefts us...

But am looking forward to many many more eps with 11 doing what he does best...

So with that, I bid you....

And will  be back after the next installment...



PS - Fez's are cool!

Ok I'll go now...