Thursday, 26 July 2012

I am the Centre of the Universe.

Why is it that everyone thinks that the world revolves around them these days?  Is this the 'sense of entitlement' people speak about?  Lately this is all that I'm seeing.  I'm seeing people demanding attention from others and getting awfully offended when they don't receive the level they think they're entitled to.  It's like their self importance overides reason and logic...like a disease.

I don't understand this concept.  Well...I kinda do...because I did the same thing when I was a teen.  The whole world revolved around me and my problems and I had first world problems and I expected to be accomodated.  But I only felt that way because I was still in the process of learning how the world works.  But now that I'm an adult, I still don't have it all worked out but I do know one thing - I'm merely a speck in the universe!  And this is the truth!

Honestly I'm not that important in the grand scheme of things.  Don't get me wrong, I AM important...I'm important to me, my children, my husband, my family and my God but I don't expect to be MORE important nor do I expect anyone else to think so. 

What is with these unreasonable expectations?  What's reasonable vs unreasonable you ask?  Well it's quite simple I expect to be treated with kindness and respect as a fellow human being THAT IS ALL pretty much.  I expect businesses who provide goods and services to provide those in a respectful manner.  I expect people to do what they say and to apologise when they can't.  I don't expect anymore than I've asked for.  I don't expect people to be mind readers nor do I expect people to treat me BETTER than they would themselves or their family...I expect to fall under themselves and their family as far as importance.  That way I'm not dissapointed when they don't but feel awfully surprised and honoured when they do.  One quote I really love, which was made by Oprah many years ago reads "Blessed are those who expect nothing for they shall never be dissappointed".

I don't understand why some people feel that they are entitled to more than that?  Why would you expect more at the person's or person's family's expense?  Then get upset when they you get it?

Lately this is what I've been seeing.  People feeling really upset and offended that someone hasn't stopped what they're doing for them.  That people haven't bent over backwards and rearranged their lives for them.  Who the hell do they think they are anyway?  The Queen of Sheba?  Today I saw a status from someone about not receiving a text message in due course, when asked how long it's been.....she answered 'an hour'....huh???  Are you kidding me?  Right so the person is meant to answer you in YOUR time frame or they are douchebags?   Forget what kind of person they really are.  Forget that they are kind and loving and doing the best they can with what they've got.  Forget that they may be busy, working, stuck in traffic, stressed or maybe going through some personal crisis or whatever....you didn't text within an hour? - you're a douchebag!  Riiiiiiiight!

These kind of things I've been seeing a lot lately.  He didn't answer the phone, she didn't answer a text....they forgot to pick me up...he doesn't ring me at every second of every day.... They didn't kiss my feet when I entered the room.  Wow first world problems right there!

News Flash! They're HUMAN!!!! 

People have lives guys!!!!  Things pop up!  Other things that may or may not be more important than you at that moment *gasp*.  More important than YOU???? OUTRAGEOUS!!!  LOL  *shakes head* 

Then there are people who insist on making things about them.  Turning everything that is said and done that don't really have anything to do with them...somehow it's turned around to being about them.  That's got to be a talent - seriously.  M is good at this....she can turn anything around to be about her, usually a personal offence of some kind.  Like we all go about our day planning on ways in which we can offend her for that day.   She'll even avoid topics of conversation....she'll say "I don't want to talk about that" or just not engage. Too bad if we do!  Why?   Because it offends her sensibilities too much.  And I'm not talking about grotesque topics of conversation or anything like that....just ordinary conversation...maybe a little provocative but definetly not offensive...but nup...we must all be quiet for her benefit...like she's the centre of the universe.  We need to revolve our conversation around her and her sensibilities <---- I'll delete this stuff about M later, in case she ever stumbles on my blog.  Or I might call her 'M' or something.  No I haven't shared my blog with her for this precise reason...she can make anything about her and I want the freedom to be able to express myself without worrying about offending her in some way.  But if she does happen to stumble on my blog and she reads this...then she's going to make a big deal and be all hurt and cry and be silly...make a scene, even if it's the truth.

This post isn't about her specifically....it's about anyone and everyone who's ever put undue expectations on others and got all upset when they didn't meet them.  M just so happened to come to mind.

And ok....maybe I've been guilty of this from time to time.  But you know what?  At least I'm aware of what I do and try to change it....at least I give myself a swift kick up the backside (figuratively speaking <---(can't believe I have to write that but some people actually do take talk of abuse seriously even when it's not *rolls eyes*) and pull my head in and remember yet again.....

THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND ME!!!!!

Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Red Tent Ramblings

I wrote about my experience in the Red Tent months ago...end of last year some time.  I appreciated the concept of it very much and feel that things like this are needed in our society to embrace women, in a society that still struggles to accomodate women in every aspect.  I didn't like the religious feel of it however, but that could just be me based on my personal experiences with religion.  I think a more open and liberal variation of the 'red tent' is what every woman needs.  Somewhere we can go and just get away from everyone and come together with women and just 'be'.

I'm a part of the red tent facebook group and something interesting has come up that brought to my memory a theory I've had about women and their menses.  The article that was referenced in this discussion talked about the possible link with depression and our attitude towards every woman's rite of passage from birth to death and how it has always been surrounded in negativity and unreachable expectations that have caused women to go against their natural grain in the way they think...this plays havoc with the chemical balances of the brain and voila....depression!

This definetly has some merit, however, I was disappointed that it didn't touch on a theory I've always had in that women's menstuation isn't healthy or 'normal' in the true sense of the word.  It has become normal in today's society because it's such a common thing amongst women that it has just become 'normal' but my theory is that it's not normal nor is it healthy to bleed month after month...year after year!

Think about it...you're basically heomorraging from an organ.  It has never made sense to me how this could possibly be normal, but I've accepted it because...well...it's what I've been taught all my life.  Or brainwashed even.

But let's consider something else here for a moment.  We bleed because an egg wasn't fertilised and the lining of the uterus isn't used so it sloughs away - that's the basics.  Ok then!  But this happens every month for every women all over the world since the dawn of time...no...wait....no it hasn't/doesn't!  Let's consider tribal women from the deepest darkest africa.  What about the American Indian?  The Australian Indigenous? (before europeans stepped in and took over).  What about women of ancient times...biblical times...cave man times?  Did they?  Well considering our natural instinct is to reproduce wouldn't it then be logical to assume that all those women of yesteryear spent their childbearing years......actually bearing children?  We don't do it today.  Today we are taught that children are a burden and that we can't just keep having children.  But in the days where there was no contraception...and where sex actually produced a baby, could it be that our ancestors spent their whole lives pregnant and/or breastfeeding?  And by the time they ovulated again...bang pregant!  No period!  From the time they were sexually active (which was young) to the time of menopause they would be pregnant and/or breastfeeding (extended breastfeeding - natures contraception) therefore they simple were not having a period every month for years on end.  They wouldn't be.  The woman's body is created to reproduce..and when women did what their body was made to do...there would never be any need for a period - EVER!  This is basic survival of the species right there!

So this leads me to believe it's not normal at all.  As for health?  Well what would this do to the chemicals of the brain?  The hormones going up and down when they weren't meant to go up and down as often as they do, peaking the way it does.  What would that do?  I say it would play havoc with the seratonin levels in our brains which would then lead to...you guessed it...depression, pms, cramps, mood swings.  This isn't normal!  This is our body telling us there's something wrong!  The body just doesn't misbehave like that without there being something not quite right.

This is a theory that i hadn't really explored properly until now.  It's passed my mind many times but again I've been told that it's normal and healthy to bleed from my uterus...I've been brainwashed into believing that it's something I MUST go through as a woman, because we're the ones with the uterus and we're the ones who have the babies. 

So I went exploring....researching.  And what do I find??  A whole theory based around the concept that menstuation is NOT healthy nor is it normal for a healthy female body.

WOW!!!

Researching further I find a whole other reason behind it.  Forget reproduction for the moment.  Forget that we are meant to be breeding machines...the whole focus in these studies is DIET!!!!

Back in those days...back when all they ate was fresh fruit and vegetable and little or no meat or animal products...apparantly they didn't get periods!  It is assumed that there isn't much ancient writings about menstuation...not because it was taboo but because it really didn't happen all that much.  It has also been suggested that even in bible times whem women were described as 'unclean'...well the word 'unclean' can be translated to mean 'unhealthy' - well....what do you know??  Bleeding from your vagina was the 'issue of blood' and it meant that they were ill...and needed to be kept away from like a leper because..well what if it was contageous?  They didn't know that it wasn't...how could they know?  All they knew is that a perfectly healthy woman was suddenly bleeding out of an orifice and that simply didn't happen all that much.

Huh!

I research further and it's all so technical about toxins and how it affects our blood vessels and how it causes mucous build up and inflamation....BLEEDING....PAIN...etc  And once a month when the lining comes away...instead of being absorbed by our bodies like it's supposed to (and possibly only losing a few drops of blood...hardly noticable) the lining inflames and bleeds copious amounts of blood!  There have been studies in animals - PRIMATES and we are the only primate that this happens to!  The only species that menstuates!  AND other animals have only started menstuating when being fed OUR FOOD....all the toxins and chemicals in it that causes their body to go into protection mode (hence the mucous/blood/inflamation).

Wow!

This is as far as i've gotten in my research so far.  But it seems that  the 'raw' diet is what's responsible for the absence of periods.  Even today healthy vegans are living period free, athletes who's diets are predominently raw foods...are living period free or bleed for shorter periods of time with less blood.  I myself have noticed the difference since i've started my weight loss regime..not only am i less sick (less colds/flus etc) but my periods have become lighter and shorter.  Coincidence?  I think not!

That's not to say i'm going to run out and eat raw...because i love my food and if a monthly period is the price I pay for junk food?... then i gladly pay it.  But i have to wonder what it does to my mind and my health and the rate at which I age.

I'm yet to research further and find out what researchers say about how it would affect depression and how this theory works within my reproduction theory.  But it has certainly given me food for thought and a reason for me not to just 'accept' my uterus heomorraging every month as something normal and inevitable just because we happen to be women.


References - (so far) - http://debbietookrawforlife.blogspot.com.au/2009/04/periods-they-may-be-normal-but-are-they.html

http://www.giveittomeraw.com/profiles/blog/show?id=1407416%3ABlogPost%3A19962

Sunday, 22 July 2012

"I was wrong, honey, it does change things...."

Is what Aaron said to me the other night.

Getting married, to me, was just a means to an end really.  I didn't think it was going to change anything and Aaron didn't either.  I just wanted my name changed.  I wanted to share my name with at least some of my children.  I wanted to tick 'married' on the census form and not 'single'.  I wanted to have a party and feel like a princess for the day....and I accomplished all of these.  It wasn't meant to make us feel closer...after all it is merely a piece of paper right?

Aaron and I were both saything to everyone that it wasn't going to change anything.  But it has!  But how?  Nothing's changed except the piece of paper!  We still have the same stresses, we still live together, sleep together....he's still practically living in Brisbane while I'm stuck here being a single mum of 6!  So why is it that we feel different?

We feel closer, more connected....the trust we have for each other has sky-rocketed!  I didn't think that I could possibly love him more...but I so do!!!  He is my everything!  I can't imagine life without him....I feel all 'in-love' and all that!  But nothing has changed except a piece of paper!!!

Not complaining, of course, I'm loving every minute of being 'legally' married...even though I've always viewed us as being married all along...in God's eyes anyway....but making it 'legal' has changed things for the better and I'm excited about exploring this further and I feel very content with 'us' - it's amazing!!!

Friday, 13 July 2012

50 Shades of Crap!

This has got to be THE funniest review I've ever read!  I've actually had the book sent to me via email and I haven't read it yet...somehow I don't see myself reading it anytime soon.  I've read the first paragraph and already started falling asleep...doesn't look like it gets any better!

Katrina Lumsden review on 50 Shades of Grey

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What in the hell just happened? Did I really read that? Oh, my god, I did. I did read that.

Meet Anastasia Steele:
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Ana is just a giant mess of a human being. She's insecure to the point of it being laughable, "klutzy" (even though she only trips twice in the entire book, when it's convenient for her to look awkward), and a complete ditz. She's a virgin (of course) who's never taken any sexual interest in anyone before. Right. I'm fairly certain there hasn't been a woman this naive since 'round about 1954. At one point, she thinks putting her hair in pigtails will keep her safe from Christian's lusty advances. Fuckin' really? She "flushes" constantly, and on several occasions referred to her hoo-hoo-naughty place as "down there."

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Next, we have Christian Grey:
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Christian is a misogynistic, self-loathing, abusive piece of shit. Apparently, his only redeeming qualities are, in this order; his ridiculous good looks, his money, and his giant penis. The only time Ana seems to like him as a person is when he's being "lovable", and those times are few and far between. Most of the time he's serious, brooding, and threatening. How charming.

I knew from the very first line this wasn't going to be good.

"I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror."

It was cemented that early, my deep, deep dislike for this moronic, simpering asshole. Your hair won't behave? Guess what?

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My suspicions were confirmed a few pages later when Ana admits that any "sympathy" she feels for her sick friend is "unwelcome". Unwelcome, apparently because her friend is beautiful, even when she has the flu...? What a petty, jealous cunt.

The only thing that made the first 4% of this book tolerable was the fact that I read it out-loud to my younger brother, and his frequent commentary was both hilarious and distracting. Once he gave up, however, I had to travel the rest of the road alone. And what an arduous, painful journey it was. Indeed, I nearly cried every time I looked down and realized I hadn't even hit the 50% mark yet.

My first impressions of Ana were bad (deservedly so). What were my first impressions of Christian? Well...

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That's how I felt about Christian Grey. From the beginning. Any time an author tries to sell me on a character's "charm" by waxing hormonal about how "ridiculously good-looking" he is, I snicker inwardly. I can't think why....

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Huh...

Anyway, after reading about the description of Christian's building (hello, first penis metaphor), I had to sit through the awful dialogue between these two utter geniuses and hope beyond hope that something, anything, would distract me enough to see me through to the end. Turns out, I found something about 15% through. I went back and counted, and kept track throughout the rest of the book, and do you have any idea how many fucking times Ana said "Oh my" in this monumentally bad missive? Do you? I'll tell you; 65! 65 motherfucking times. "He pulled me back against his chest...oh my." "He began kissing a trail down my belly, oh my." "He's an insufferable douchenozzle, oh my!" (I'm just thankful that neither lions, tigers, nor bears were brought into this mess at any point.)

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(Note: I used a program to count the number of instances of the term "oh my", and it appears I missed a few.)

About halfway through, I wished I'd been keeping track of the word "crap" because Ana is constantly saying/thinking it. Crap, Holy Crap, Double and Triple Crap, Oh Crap, This Crap, That Crap, any and all Crap. Speaking of crap, if I ever, ever ever have to hear/read the words "inner goddess" again, I'm going to construct a pyre out of tampons and maxi pads, light it, and toss unsuspecting women into it.

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^My inner goddess will cap yours in the face if you don't shut the fuck up^

I'm sorry, I just couldn't take any of this seriously. His playroom. His playroom? Really?

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Or how about his weird-ass issues with food? He wants the girl slim and in shape, yet he won't stop trying to force her to eat!

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I simply love the attempt E.L. James made at giving these pathetic shells personalities. Ana wears Converse, drives a vintage car, and likes classic British lit. *Yawn* haven't heard any of that before. And Christian; we know Christian's super deep and sophisticated because he plays the piano and listens to obscure classical music. This is how we know Edward Christian is really just a lost soul in need of love; his love of music. Everyone knows that no one threatening listens to music. Music lovers just aren't capable of doing anything bad.

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^Surprise! Psychos like music, too.^

Since this is considered nothing more than "mommyporn", I will attempt to pander to that particular demographic for a moment. Were the sex scenes well-written? Well, none of it was particularly well-written. The sex scenes could be kind of...honestly, they were kind of boring. I've had more exciting sex myself, so I guess reader response to the sex scenes is dependent on reader experience. There's nothing revolutionary here, and a lot of it is just plain unrealistic. I mean, come on, he pretty much jackhammers her hymen and she walks away with nothing more than a passing, pleasant soreness? Riiiight. How about the time he gives her a handjob with a soapy washcloth? Hello? Apparently neither one of them has ever heard of a urinary tract infection. Oh, oh, or we could talk about her first time giving Christian a blowjob....during which she established herself as some kind of Queen of Deepthroat...

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Anyone wanna hear about the tampon scene? Oh, you've already heard about the tampon scene? Yeah, same here, although hearing about it and reading the actual scene are a bit different. For some reason, you imagine it being worse than it actually is, while at the same time, reading about is more horrifying than you could possibly imagine.

"He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string...what! And...gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet."

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Look, I'm not against sex during menses, but a guy plucking out a girl's tampon? Yeah, gross. I'm not a prude, but there are certain lines people just shouldn't cross...and that's one of them. What makes it worse is that Christian is just thrilled that Ana's raggin' because he hates using condoms....

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Apparently, Mr. GinormoDick, Mr. KnowItAll, Mr. DoNotDefyMe....doesn't know that a woman can get pregnant while on her period. Which is hilarious considering all the "teaching" and "training" he's doing to remedy Ana's sexual ignorance.

Sexual dependence, thy name is Anastasia Steele. We're supposed to believe that this girl has gone 21 years neither having had sex nor masturbating? Hm. Well, Christian's supposed sexual prowess makes a bit more sense now, as does Ana's assertion that he has a giant bologna wand. She has absolutely zero experience, and she's never once had anything "in there"....thing could be the size of a baby carrot and she'd still be like, "Oh, my glob! How is it ever going to fit?!"

It's good that she stockpiled all those potential orgasms, though, because now she's capable of having like, 15 a day or something. It's ridiculous. Come to think of it, Christian's obsession with her eating habits makes a bit more sense now. She was probably beginning to look like something out of a horror movie.

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Seriously, though, are we going to take the word of a girl who is apparently so undersexed she's never even masturbated? I guess I can sort of understand this obsession with some kind of an awakening, but...really? "Oh, he's soooo good in bed!" How the hell would she know?! She has absolutely nothing with which to compare, not even her own damn hand!

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Now I'll be totally honest, the biggest issue I have with Fifty Shades of Shit is neither the sex nor the horrible writing. It's the plot. Thin as it is, it's still there. And its basic message is that, given enough time, you can change someone. While I don't have any problem with this if all you're trying to do is help them to lose weight or quit smoking, when you're talking about an emotionally and (dangerously close to) physically abusive relationship, sending that kind of message is both ridiculous and irresponsible. Christian is controlling, possessive, condescending, and cruel. He doesn't allow Ana to behave as she normally would, and Ana just puts up with it, insistent that if she can just give him what he wants, when he wants, as often as he wants, she can eventually begin to pull his strings. Will it work? In the books, probably. In real life? No. Almost never. How many idiotic, spineless, weak women are going to waste their lives on some emotionally retarded prick because they've read shit like this and think this kind of fucked-up fairytale will come true for them? I know I'm not over-reacting because I've known women with this mentality. "Oh, he's so dark and dangerous and threatening, but he's got a sad, lonely side, and if I could just figure out what's wrong, I could change him!" *swoon*

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Wake the fuck up, he may be hot, he may have a huge dick, he may even be rich (or any combination of those traits)....that doesn't make him a good person. It doesn't even make him a potentially good person. Quit.Being.A.Fucking.Idiot. (Look, I can make my words Staccato like Christian....now hold still while I choke you until you pass out...)

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^Ana and Christian^ - "I said don't roll your eyes at me!!"

Christian stalks Ana (which she turns into a fucking joke), and whispers things to her "threateningly" if there are other people around when he learns something he doesn't like. An example of something he doesn't like? Learning that Ana hung out with a guy friend and didn't tell him about it. Yup. Nothing like getting your ass kicked by your wovey-dovey for....oh, you know, having a life.

Potential rape is downplayed, as well. Ana's friend, Jake Jose, starts pushing himself on her rather vehemently when they're both drunk. Ana repeatedly says no, but Jose just keeps trying to go in for the kill. Admiral Chaps busts on up with his riding crop, however, and saves her. Ana (understandably) avoids Jose for a while after that, and when her other friend asks her why, all Ana says is, "He made a pass at me." Later on, she and Jose are friends again, "The attempted kiss all but forgotten." Attempted.....kiss.....

Strangely, rape appears to be a theme, albeit, perhaps, somewhat disguised. Christian tells Ana that he gets off on having complete and total control over another human being. Mmhmm, there are people who get off on having control over others....they're called rapists.

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And there are women out there who think this is romantic.

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I wish you the best of luck, ladies. May you get everything your hearts desire....and when your dreamboats start giving you black eyes and pushing you down stairs, don't come crying to me.

By the way, for all you ladies bustin' out your toys while daydreaming about Hunky Mr. Grey, I want you to do something for me. It'll only take a moment. Close your eyes. Think about all the things Christian Grey does in the book. Not just those supposed sweet things, but really, everything. His condescension, his control, his insane jealousy, his threats.....and now....imagine he looks like this:




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Still turned on?

The end of the book was absolutely hilarious, with Ana fleeing in emotional tumult because Christian can't give her what she needs (love! *sniff*)...

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...and we're treated to her alternately being angry about the pain and humiliation she faced at Christian's hands, and chastising herself for being a failure and for being mean to Christian. It really is classic abuse mentality. She's pathetic. And I hate her. A lot.

There isn't much point in talking about peripheral characters, world-building, or plot devices since it all sucks equally. The only thing worth noting is that it's this kind of ignorant trash that sets feminism back decades. Any woman raving about this book is participating in some of the most blatant misogyny I've ever witnessed, cementing in some peoples' minds the idea that women enjoy being debased, abused, and controlled. It's books like this that make me thankful I have a wonderful husband who accepts me as I am....and that I have a fucking brain in my head. Because it's obvious, based on the popularity of this amateurish feces, that there are a lot of women out there with nothing but air padding their silly, clueless craniums.

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*Sigh*

A bestseller. They're thinking of turning it into a movie....I can't....

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Word Count:
"Oh My" - 79
"Crap" - 101
"Jeez" - 82
"Holy (shit/fuck/crap/hell/cow/moses)" - 172
"Inner goddess" - 58
"Subconscious" - 82

written by Kartrin Lumsden