Taking Responsibility

More and more, these days, I see people continually refusing to take any responsibility for their own lives.  Even just a small part.  Why is it that we feel that talking responsibility is such a bad thing?  Is it because we are afraid that people are going to go "Ha so it is your fault...no compassion for you!"  Why can't we have compassion for those who make bad decisions in their lives.  We all make crappy decisions but we can learn from them and move on.  We can even help and teach others in the hopes that they don't make the same decisions.

I was part of a discussion, yesterday, regarding Amy Winehouse and her sad demise.  The message that I got from the whole discussion is that people refuse to take responsibility for the part they play in their own addiction to drugs.  I felt that there was a lot of negativity in the way these people think and that they don't wish to take control of their lives.  It seems that because they've been told that addiction is a 'disease' that they somehow feel 'That's it... I'm doomed'.  It's almost like they're continually pushing their own control away from themselves and putting it on a ....a belief?  Instead of owning it and taking control they wallow in victim land and expect everyone else to wallow with them in sympathy.

These kind of attitudes, in itself, is a disease of sorts that needs to be cured.  I'm not sure that validating these attitudes is the way to do it, but attempting to give them another perspective, ends up with people attacking you and your own opinion that might differ from the status quo.  My opinion might be wrong...or it might be a little bit right?  But it seems that no one wants to even contemplate it out of fear.  Fear of what?  Responsibility?  Is this something to fear?  Maybe it is.  It's the unknown isn't it.  People fear the unknown and they don't want any part of it.  Staying the victim is safe.  Staying the victim keeps you innocent.  Staying the victim keeps you blameless.  But it doesn't have to be that way.

A certain comment that I read yesterday made me cold.  The comment was "If I have to go through one more thing I know that I will use again".  Wow!!!  Ok is this what this person is telling themselves?  Everyday?  What kind of a message is this?  And it's any wander they're still a victim of their addiction because this is what they've already decided for their lives and they haven't even finished living it yet.

If this is what they're telling themselves then where do they get this idea?  Is this what others are telling them?  That they are teetering on this presipice and they have no control on whether they fall or not?  This is a falsehood that they are led to believe.  They've taken their own freedom of will away.  They've decided for themselves that choice doesn't enter in.  Well I believe they are wrong!  So so wrong!  They are stronger than they think they are and I wish someone had the guts to tell them that without fear of being attacked themselves for daring to go against the status quo.

It seems everyone else wants to leave them where they are...wallowing in their own past, not ever taking control of their own lives or choices and then when they fall again say 'See?  We were right!"    Well you are...but at what cost??

I was told yesterday that I oughta hope that my kids don't become drug addicts and that maybe my view might change if they did.  Well maybe it will but I highly doubt it.  I know myself enough to know that I really don't think my opinion is going to change much.  I'm a realist and have been one most of my life.  I've had many bad things happen to me and mine and I'm still a realist.  I see things for what they are....I try not to lie to myself and tell myself that I'm a victim.  I'm not a freakin' victim because I choose to take my power back and yet there are those who continually give their power away.

I teach my kids about consequences and responsibility.  I tell them if they don't make the right choices in life then they will have to deal with the consequences of that, no matter what they are.  That's not to say that I, as their mother, isn't going to support them or help them through difficult situations when they happen, but I'm not going to stop teaching it.  I teach them if they don't do their homework then they will be punished at school.  I teach them that if they don't pay attention in class then they're marks are going to suffer which will, in turn, cause difficulty later on.  I tell them if they don't put their clothes in the wash they simply won't get washed.  And when they earn money I'll be teaching them that if they spend their money on crap then they won't be able to pay their bills.

There are a myraid of reasons why someone may make a bad decision.  And some of these reasons are very sad ones but it doesn't change the consequences and it doesn't magically take the choice out of their hands and into this cosmic world that forces your hand.

This is what I teach my kids but it seems society is passing the buck more and more and making excuses for bad decisions all the time rather than owning them.  And I ask....Is this really wise???

Well is it?

Hair Glorious Hair

All my life I had thick wavy, sometimes frizzy hair.  It might sound nice but it always looked messy unless I scrunched it up with mousse.  Which was fine during the 80's and 90's when big hair was the fashion but now now when sleek and shiny with a little bit of curl is in.

Then came the invention of the hair straightener, well they were probably always around but back in my day they were curling wands and crimpers rather than straighteners.  But enter the straightener and suddenly we had us poor sods spending hours in front of the mirror straightening and restraightening our locks over and over.  For some people with normal to thin hair it's relatively easy but for people like me with thick hair...and lots of it...and not to mention being a busy mum of 6 - I just didn't have to time!!  So straightening was something I did on the odd (very odd) occasion and usually I had help (eg my sisters attacking my hair)

If only there was a way that one could have it permanantly straightened!  You know, like they have the technology to curl straight hair...surly they can work out how to straighten curly hair!

Well they did, but the product stripped your hair and left your hair dry and awful.  Everyone I asked recommended for me NOT to do it.  Even hairdressers, who you'd think would be after the money, never recommended I wreck my hair like that.  Gah!  Come on! 

Then one day, about a year and a half ago, my sister, who had very thick course wavy red hair got hers chemically straightened using the latest in chemicals that didn't wreck your hair!!!

Too good to be true?

Well I watched and I asked her questions all the time.  I waited to see if her hair would eventually become dry and gross.  I waited to see if she would regret it so much that she wished she never did it.  She went on a tour of Europe and came back with her hair looking fabulous even with regrowth it just looked so tame and beautiful.

But it costs a bundle so I started saving and saving to get it done myself and finally my husband gave me the money for my birthday to get it done.

About 2 and a half weeks ago now I went on down and sat for 4 hours at the hairdressers getting my hair chemically straightened and I have to say I LOVE IT!!!!!

My hair is silky and shiny and gorgeous and so so easy to manage.  It actually looks like I've actually brushed my hair!  I don't regret it - not one bit!  It's the best investment I've ever made and I recommend it to anyone!

So if you've thinking about getting your hair chemically straightened - do it!  With the new products out these days they will not wreck your hair and will leave your hair feeling silky and soft and neat and STRAIGHT!!!

Hail to straight hair!!! 



Word of the Day??

Fail!

Nope not going to do it anymore as it is boring!  And nobody reads them anyway.  I can't remember half the words so it's not like I've learned anything.

So let's just put that down to a failed experiment shall we?

Irresponsible Cat Owners.

That's us!  Yes we're the ones you hate!

It all started when we were lied to.  My sister in law was moving to Chinchilla.  It was a very quick move with not much time to organise things.  She had and beautiful black older kitten that she needed to get rid of, so we took her in.  At the time we had two cats.  Aaron's parents cat, Missy, who was a real bitch but we loved her anyway.  Kept to herself, didn't bother anyone.  And a fluffy white male cat name Frosty who we loved dearly but decided to adopt the people across the road as his owners so really not our cat anymore. (He still liked to visit though). Both desexed.

Anyway, we took on this kitten and was told that yes she was desexed and all was good.  We named her Cleo and she turned out to be a beautiful cat with a really nice nature. 

So my best friend's cat had kittens and we decided to take on 2 of her kittens a tabby we called Gorgeous and a tortoiseshell we called Malady.  All was good until the very next day I was looking at Cleo thinking that she was getting mighty fat!  Like she's fat...around the tummy area.

Then it hit me..."Oooooh God!  She's freakin knocked up!  Hey Aaron I thought your sister said she was desexed!"  Damn that lying bitch!  We should have known, she lies all the time about everything...grrr

So now we had two little kittens and a pregnant cat.  We had Missy who wasn't around much and Frosty who didn't own us anymore (the traitor).  Yes we could have gotten her desexed anyway but the thought of killing her babies, just didn't appeal to us.  So......we let her have them!

So off she goes and has SIX kittens...yes that's SIX kittens  that we had no idea what to do with. 3 grey, 2 black and 1 black with a white stripe on his nose and white socks.  *sigh*  But they were so cute!  And no we weren't going to take them to the pound that's just cruel...so we started the mammoth task at finding parents for them.

One went to one of Aaron's colleagues at work. (We've since found out that some random kicked her to death...awful!)  One went to one of Dana's friends from school who went on to have babies herself.  One went to Dana's best friend who they named Kiara and who is still much loved.  One was killed by our daughter by accident...loving it to death...literally.  One had gotten outside and was killed by our dog.  And the other one with the stripe, he was also attacked by our dog and was badly injured but pulled through and who we still have and is a much loved beautiful boy named Llstatt (Interview with a Vampire).

So after they were all weaned we went and got Cleo desexed (like good responsible cat owners) only to have some moron hit her with his car and leaving her to die!  It was devastating cos she was such a beautiful cat!

Moving day comes...and we have 3 cats to move.  Llstatt, Gorgeous and Malady.  Malady takes off on us so that left Llstatt and Gorgeous but our dog had to find another home unfortunately.  All is good and we figure that both Llstatt and Gorgeous were still too immature so planned on desexing them as soon as we had the chance.  But we were wrong!  Llstatt is now a tom and Gorgeous is one randy hussy!  Grrrrr so what happens?  You guessed it...Gorgeous gets knocked up!!!!!

Aaaaaagh!!!!!  What the freakin hell!  So now we're feeling even more like irresponsible cat owners because we let it happen - AGAIN!!!  But thankfully, Gorgeous only had 2 kittens (which is apparently normal for a first litter....so I have no idea why Cleo had 6 but anyway) so we weren't as paniced as we were the last time.  We only had to get rid of 2!  One was a beautiful black boy who looked just like Cleo did and the other was a fluffy grey.  We called the fluffy one...er....Fluffy (yes original) and the black one Liquoice.  But we had no idea what we were going to do with them.  Facing the very real possibility that we may have to resort to keeping them.

So whilst waiting for Gorgeous to stop lactating so we can get her desexed....we ask anyone we can to take on the 2 kittens.  Thankfully, Dana's best friend comes to the rescue again and takes on not one but both of them because they fell in love with both!  So now they have Kiara from Cleo's litter and who is the aunt of the two little ones and they have Fluffy and Liquoice who they renamed Luca and River.

*Sigh*...Right...so time to get Gorgeous desexed, you say?  Ya huh!  Excepting one thing....Gorgeous, being as how she only had 2 kittens to feed and although she had only just stopped lactating ....gets knocked up AGAIN!!!! 

Oh yes she did!!!!!

But a strange thing happens and on the 20th of May she only gave birth to one single little kitten!  Just one!  Oh thank God!!!!!  And as it happens my friend Rachel's son Damien fell in love with him and decided to keep him. 

Oh good...so now all we have to do is get him to the eating stage and move him on and we can get Gorgeous fixed up.  But...my son...decided to love him to death...and a few days after he was born, he died.  And although it was a blessing in disguise, it was still very sad and I felt awful because he suffered quite a bit before he died and he hadn't even opened his eyes yet :(

In conclusion...today is the 3rd of June and I very much doubt Gorgeous is in heat yet but if she is I don't care....because she's booked in for monday to get the snip!!!!!  So monday is the day our kitten days are over.  We will never go through that again! 

And after she's done....Llstatt's next, so he best kiss his balls goodbye while he still has them!  Baahaahaaaa!

So next time you have a go at irresponsible cat owners...think of us and how our intentions were good and we didn't mean to be irresponsible but it's just the way it happened.

It all started with a lie!



Word of the Day #8

purlieu - \ PUR-loo \  , noun;

 

1. A place where one may range at large; confines or bounds.

2. A person's haunt or resort.

3. An outlying district or region, as of a town or city.

4. A piece of land on the edge of a forest, originally land that, after having been included in a royal forest, was restored to private ownership, though still subject, in some respects, to the operation of the forest laws.

 

Origin: Purlieu  is an alteration (simulating French lieu , "place") of earlier parlewe , "of a forest."

 

Example - Hmmmm ok.....  There is a purlieu on the outskirts of our town.

 

 

 

Toowoomba Still lives in Fear...

On the 10th of Jan. 2011, Toowoomba experienced a phenomenon that will  haunt the community for many years to come.  We had, what they called, an inland tsunami.

Those who don't know anything about toowoomba, I'll give you a quick run down.  Toowoomba is situated about 1.5 hours drive south/west of Brisbane on a mountain range called the Blue Mountains.  But seeing as how it's on a mountain, we're always smug in the thought that we never flood.  If ever there was a flood or a tidal wave or whatever, we wouldn't really be affected much...because we're so high.  I don't know how high above sea level, I can't remember, but enough to make us all feel pretty safe if ever there was an apocalypse or something ;)

Well....

That was until that fateful monday afternoon when the unthinkable happened.  It had been raining on and off for weeks.  I'm saying WEEKS!  It was the most rain that toowoomba had seen in many years.  We were in a drought up until then...level 6 water restrictions.  I believe the dam was at 35% or so.  So of course many residence forgot how toowoomba handles rains like that.

Well...it does have a drainage system, basically from one end of the city to the other...a few of them actually.  Now don't ask me where they begin and most importantly where they end, but it is well known....and now it is remembered that the drains would flood after heavy rains.  Just some localised flooding...nothing terrible or anything to be concerned about.  We'd get some water over the roads in some places where the drains have overflowed.

But this particular day....after it had been raining for weeks and the ground was sodden and just couldn't take anymore water, there was a deluge.  I'm talking....bucketloads!!!  It was just pouring and pouring, so much that there was some minor leaking from the roof and our backyard flooded and almost came in the house. 

We were literally watching the water creep onto the paved part of our outdoor area.  You could see it coming closer and closer to our back door.  So we're running around grabbing towels and things and Aaron tries ringing the SES to get us some sand bags.  We couldn't get through to them though, we tried and we tried and finally we gave up and cursed them for being so useless (little did we know).

Looking out the windows you can see a small river going down our driveway and then going down out street, which is only a slight hill.  And I remember saying "Gee I wonder where all that water is going to go?"

The rain settled down and the water didn't come into the house thank God.  And we didn't think much of it...we went to bed that night and got woken up early in the morning by phone calls.  Aaron's workmates ringing and asking if we're ok.  My mum ringing me and asking how we faired.  And we're like "...ummmm...yeh, all's good guys".

So I'm speaking to my mum, and she's telling me about some flooding and how her and my sister were caught in it, and I'm just assuming she's talking about the usual localised flooding we get...but she stops me and says..."You better turn on the tv".

So I turn it on and the first thing that hits me is "14 dead in Toowoomba's inland tsunami". 

Holy shit!!!  Aaron!  You better get in here!!!!

And we stood there watching as images of the streets that we only just walked on two days prior....well...they were no longer there!  It was just water!!! 

The drains just couldn't take anymore and the water was gushing!!  I mean gushing....like  rapids!  And cars were being wiped out and squished against each other, trees, drains, buildings......it was awful!!!

Problem is, that all that water only had one place to go...DOWN!

And it cascaded down our mountain in torrents!  It destroyed everything in it's path.  The little towns of Grantham and Murphy's Creek, Spring Bluff, and even Withcott, all got dessimated!

Homes were washed away...people were washed away!  A mother and her son were swept to their deaths down the road from us.  Some friends of my sisters where killed after putting their children onto the roof of their house.  The whole town of Grantham, was a war zone! 

In the end, I believe it was about 20 or so people killed and still 3 missing from that deadly waterfall.  And yes...it was just like a waterfall.

Well today we had a deluge of rain....big heavy raindrops, not that different from the day of the floods.  Thankfully we haven't had weeks and weeks of rain so our waterways and things were able to handle it...and we had our usual local flooding that disappeared within an hour or so. 

I was shopping today and you can still see it in people's faces.  People talking about the rain and how they hope it stops soon.  And you just know, that they're thinking of that day.  You can see it...a town still in shock!

A lot has been cleaned up, but there is still evidence of the floods when you drive around.  Down town the 'Coffee Club' still hasn't re-opened and it's been 5 months.  They were completly smashed!  'Wow sight and sound' only opened their doors a couple of weeks ago.  It's just taking a fair while for some businesses to recover.

There is still depri in railings, in some places.  Some railings are still bent.  There's still yellow tape around bridges. And down the range is still recovering.  I haven't been down there but I hear that rebuilding is slow and there is still some evidence of landslips still.

No...I don't think people will forget that day, for a very long time.  Everytime there is heavy rain, we are going to wonder if it's going to happen again!

On a good note, it showed the community spirit and the good ole' Aussie resiliance!



Word of the Day #7

jamboree -  JAM-buh-ree \  , noun;

1. A carousal; any noisy merrymaking.

2. A large gathering, as of a political party or the teams of a sporting league, often including a program of speeches and entertainment.

3. A large gathering of members of the Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts, usually nationwide or international in scope]]

Origin:

Jamboree  is an American invention, an apparent blend of jabber  and shivaree

Example - It was a real jamboree at the park today.