First weigh in
Current Weight - 80kg
Waist - 96.5cm
Hips - 110.5cm
Chest 97.5cm (above the boob...no point measuring my boobs I don't want them to lose weight LOL)
Thigh - 93.5cm
Upper arm - 33cm
First Goal
75kg
How I'm going to get there
Counting calories at Calorie King.
Drop portion size by eating off a bread and butter plate.
DRINK WATER
Ab exercises
Workout dvd (for now....just waiting for next pay to join the gym - YES I'M JOINING A GYM)
Next weigh in
Sunday 7th Jan.
What I hope to be
79kg
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Getting my sexy back!
2012 the year I get back to 2007, yes it was 5 years ago that I fluctuated from 57 - 60kg. I was proud of the fact that after 4 kids I was still quite slim and sexyish and I so want to go back there.
Funny thing, it never took any effort really to maintain that weight. I wasn't overly active, I didn't exercise and I didn't really watch what I ate either. Ok my diet wasn't bad but that was because that's what I liked, it was a diet with good sized portions of good food and some not so good food in between. If I gained a few kilos I'd take it as an indication that I need to lay off the fatty foods for a bit....so I'd do that and voila! Kilos gone!
Now....5 years and 2 more kids later I'm not the same. I've slowly been gaining, and 3 years is probably a more accurate timeline, of how quickly things went downhill. I still don't regularly exercise, I eat the same good sized portions of good food and some not so good food......and yet....I'm this! 80kg! That's a 20kg gain! I've never been this fat in all my life!
Well the time has come, obviously, where I'm going to have to start watching my weight and...wait for it.....exercise! Never had to before, but obviously something's changed within my body that has now required me to do so.
So...as of today I'm making a start in changing my lifestyle to incorporate my new body so that I can get back to my old body...the one that had people look at me with such envy! Today is the day that things are going to change. My exercise habits, eating habits and portion sizes are all going to change this year and my goal, for this time next year is to be 20kg lighter! I can do this!
First goal is to lose 5kg. Once I've done that, then I know I'm well on my way!
Funny thing, it never took any effort really to maintain that weight. I wasn't overly active, I didn't exercise and I didn't really watch what I ate either. Ok my diet wasn't bad but that was because that's what I liked, it was a diet with good sized portions of good food and some not so good food in between. If I gained a few kilos I'd take it as an indication that I need to lay off the fatty foods for a bit....so I'd do that and voila! Kilos gone!
Now....5 years and 2 more kids later I'm not the same. I've slowly been gaining, and 3 years is probably a more accurate timeline, of how quickly things went downhill. I still don't regularly exercise, I eat the same good sized portions of good food and some not so good food......and yet....I'm this! 80kg! That's a 20kg gain! I've never been this fat in all my life!
Well the time has come, obviously, where I'm going to have to start watching my weight and...wait for it.....exercise! Never had to before, but obviously something's changed within my body that has now required me to do so.
So...as of today I'm making a start in changing my lifestyle to incorporate my new body so that I can get back to my old body...the one that had people look at me with such envy! Today is the day that things are going to change. My exercise habits, eating habits and portion sizes are all going to change this year and my goal, for this time next year is to be 20kg lighter! I can do this!
First goal is to lose 5kg. Once I've done that, then I know I'm well on my way!
Sunday, 11 December 2011
Rhys' Birthstory - 18/08/99
At 7weeks I had some spotting, which scared me quite a bit. Fearing it was a miscarriage I tried to read as much as I could about miscarriages and what I was in for. I read a section about implantation bleed and hoped to God that that was all it was.
I had an ultrasound and the baby was going great but there was a slight smudge that indicated a bleed of some sort. 2 weeks later at 9 weeks, the bleeding and cramping had stopped and I had another ultrasound and saw that everything was doing well.
I look back now and wonder how significant this was in the end. I wonder if there's been any study about implantation and what was going to happen later. To this day I still wonder about that and wonder if it could have been forseen. But at that point I was just really relieved that everything was ok and later in an ultrasound it was revealed that my baby was a very healthy baby boy! And this was more than I could hope for.
From the womb, I knew that Rhys was different. He was strong! I give that to him! He would push his legs down one side and push to the other side and then roll over in a huge sweep. A friend of mine would sit and watch my belly in utter amazement at the rolling and the waves she would see.
Rhys was also very jumpy. I'd be washing the dishes and my belly would be leaning up against the sink and I'd bang a pot on the side of the sink..... and he'd jump! I'd be having a bath and I'd be laying in the bath tub, all quiet then suddenly I'd move my hand and the water would slop onto my tummy....and he'd jump.
Even though my hips ached like anything....and my lower back would get spasms that would radiate down my legs. I enjoyed this pregnancy more than any others ...number one because it was in the middle of winter this time...no heat...no swelling...more comfortable. And number two because watching my belly was pure entertainment for me LOL
However.....I hated the thought of going overdue again. As nice as it all was, I was still in pain and couldn't bear the thought of going overdue again like last time....and it would be lovely to go into labour by myself eh?
So I went and got a mix of lovely aromatherapy oils to rub into my belly. It was a concoction of apricot oil, clary sage and jasmin....as far as I can remember. And it smelt so pretty! So I rubbed this on my belly everynight from about 36 weeks onwards.
The day before my due date, I had an antinatal appointment with an OB, and by this stage I was pretty set with the knowledge that it looked as thought I was going to go overdue again, but if I could at least find out what my cervix was doing then it would give me hope that something is happening or that if I did have to be induced again that I may not have to have the prostin gel again and that things might happen if my waters were broken.
The OB looked at me and said that because I'd had a baby before that my cervix won't be completely closed anyway but he'd check me out and see what's going on. On checking it was found that sure enough the cervix wasn't completely closed and on the soft side...which he said I could go on like that for weeks yet! Yeh ok....thanks mate!
So off I go home again....rub my aromatherapy in and then decide that perhaps having sex might help things along, only when we went to do it, I was swollen down there and it hurt so much that we couldn't do it! I had a shower after that and cried and cried and cried. Then resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to go overdue again!
The next day...was my due date. I just pottered around the house while my BH contractions, which I'd had for months now....kept coming. I wasn't thinking much, only that I thought it might be nice if I chopped up some stuff for a lasagne put it together then when hubby came home, we can pop it in the oven and go for a walk to the park together while it was cooking....then we can come home...eat dinner and I can have a nice warm bath in aromatherapy oils. You never know! It might work!
My plans were dashed when after a little nap on the floor with my daughter, I mosy on into the kitchen to start the lasagne, chopping away I felt a pressure down below. Almost like I was about to fart (yeh I know but it's the only way I can describe it) only instead of farting...my waters bulged then broke, right there... knife in the air mid cut, in the kitchen.
I looked down and it was literally like someone had gotten a glass of water and decided to tip it out, it just gushed...just like that!
I dropped the knife and looked around muttering 'what do I do, what do I do', then suddenly got a bright idea and put my finger up in the air....went to the calandar, looked and saw that it was the 18th of August and then put my thumb up and said "Good day!" Matter of factly just as another gush of water came out.
I guess I couldn't believe that things were happening on its own and that I wasn't technically overdue!
By this time Dana had woken up just as my first contraction hit....and as I was on the phone to my hubby....another one hit! 5 minutes apart!
Err...yeh time to go I think!
Finally got through to my hubby who had stopped by his parent's place on the way home from work. Meanwhile I was running around getting changed and dumping water everywhere, whereever I went. I didn't have any pads though, as my hospital bag was in the car and hubby had the car! So all I could do was shove a bathtowel between my legs and waddle everywhere.
Hubby came home and we had to first drop Dana off at his parent's then pick up his sister who was preg at the time and who I thought would get a kick out of coming to my birth. By this stage contractions were 3 minutes apart. While we were waiting for my sister in law, I rang the hospital and told them i was on my way and my contractions were 3 minutes apart.
Got there and had to walk from the car to the maternity ward....no sorry...waddle...cos of the bath towel.
Straight away they took me upstairs but put me in the birth centre suite for the time being as the only labour ward free at the time was being cleaned from the last birth.
I didn't want to sit or lie on the bed....even though it looked like a lovely big double bed, I just wanted to sit in a chair.
By then contractions were quite painful so I asked for some gas, it gave me something to do, and something to focus on....and something for everyone to laugh at me about in between when I started laughing at nothing in particular. But after a while, things were getting intense and I threw it away....middie tried to give it back to me and I knocked it out of her hand and told her it felt like I was sitting on the baby's head.
She asked me if I was actually sitting on the baby's head, as I was sitting on the side of my butt....and no one had checked me or anything. But I knew I wasn't actually sitting on his head, it just felt like I was....like a big lump was there.
She rushed out to see if the ward was opened or if I was going to have to have the baby right there in the birth suite (which would have been nice) and sure enough everyone was ready for me, so they made me walk....yes walk two rooms down to the ward.
On the way I looked in another room and saw a friend's mum and realised that a friend of mine was in labour too...so I waved to her but then had to quickly get into my room and sit down because I felt my legs starting to get weak and I was afaid I wouldnt' be able to stay standing.
Just as I sat on the bed and laid back on a 45 degree angle (seems to be my favourite position), I lifted my legs and his head came out.
A bunch of doctors came in and perched themselves at the end of the bed and watched, I thougth I recognised the doctor I saw the day before but couldnt' be sure.....I didn't care anyway...I was yellin' that the baby was coming and the middie was yelling at me to stop pushing so she could check the cord, I screamed "I'm not pushing"....then out he slithered! 2 minutes!!!!
Let me say that again....from the time I went from my friend's door to the bed....till he came out, it was 2 minutes! And I never even pushed....not once!!! My body did it all on it's own...I just went with it, and out he came. He slithered out.
9lb 1oz baby boy...big and strong...and he roared like a lion!
But I did it! Look what I did! 1 hour 45 mins from the the time my waters broke, till the time my 9lb baby boy entered the world. NO stitches, man I was a legend! If I could have, I would have yelled on top of my lungs "I'm the king of the world" like Leonardo Dicaprio on Titanic.
What happens after this, is quite vague. But I'll do my best to try and explain it as best I can from memory. It may not be completely accurate or the order may be scewed a bit, but this is my memory of it.
About 5 or 10 minutes after he was born, I was made distinctly aware of some pain in my uterus. Having read up on afterpains, that tend to happen after subsequent births, I assumed that this is what they were. So I told the middie and asked surely that these didn't happen so soon, but she assured me that sometimes they did and asked if I'd like some panadol.
I took some panadol and watched as my sister in law marveled at the strength of my new baby boy.....she had him on her shoulder and he had lifted his head right up off her shoulder and looked around...like a 3 month old. And she kept pointing and saying 'look at this Des' ...but I was distracted as this pain in my uterus started getting worse and worse.
"Would you like a heat pack?" the middie asked.
I readily took it thinking how bad these afterpains were....but as she put the heat pack on, it was quite heavy on my stomach and I coudn't handle the weight of it.
A little concerned, she prodded my stomach and I almost went through the roof from the pain. But it seemed that my uterus wasn't contracting down like it should be and that it was 'boggy'. Looking down she could see that I was losing some blood.
After that....everything was a blur. The blood kept coming....my uterus would swell up...then I would cry out in pain then pass out into oblivion....I'd pass some clots, then I'd come back again and feel a bit better!
This kept happening....and everytime, the midwives kept thinking that when I passed the clots I'd be ok. But I wasn't.
By this stage they were starting to really worry, but I was still quite oblivious. "I'm ok" I'd chime. After each 'episode' I'd come back and say "See?...I'm ok.....I'm a bit of a bleeder" I'd say thinking back to when I lost a bit of blood after having Dana. "Not like this love" They'd reply.
By this stage I'd look over at my hubby and at my SIL and they were both sitting there looking at me in horror. My mother turned up and almost passed out seeing me in a pool of blood and so pale I looked like I was dead, and then I would pass out again....and she's start crying like I was dying.
And I was...
I was dying! Right there, in that labour ward...I was literally dying. In front of my husband, his sister, my mother and my son!
I went into immediate shock...started shivering...and I was so cold. /So very very cold! I wasn't passing clots anymore, the blood was just seeping everywhere....all over the bed, the floor....me. And when the Ob shook a form and a pen at me, to sign consent for surgery, it was only then that I realised that this was really serious.
I couldn't stop shivering....the pain wouldn't stop. And I was barely conscious and all I could do was moan as they wheeled me down the corridor, running the whole way into the operating theatre.
I remember lying there, looking up the ceiling, scared that I was never going to see my children again. The nurse was saying, "We're doing this to you now", "We're going to put this needle in you now." And all I managed to mutter was "I don't care,....just stop the pain".
Then nothing.
I woke up and immediately recognised the fact that I was no longer in any pain....then next I recognised that I felt so unbelievably warm, as they had some inflatable heatblanket on me and it was glorious. Then I just wanted to know where my hubby was and I kept muttering 'W w w w wh wh" and the nurse thought i was asking how I was. She said "You're doing fine now honey...." then she realised I was asking for hubby and she told me he was in the nursery with his son.
Good!....just as it should be!
I was taken to intensive care after that. I had lost 3.5 litres of blood altogether, as far as they could estimate, and was receiving bag after bag of blood. My blood pressure was still really low so they had to moniter me around the clock.
Hubby came in with Dana....on one hand I was glad to see her, but on the other hand I was worried that she'd be afraid of what she saw. I had heart monitors on me, an oxygen mask, two drips, one on each arm. a catheta, and a blood pressure thing on my arm set to go off every 5 minutes. I gather I was a sight.....not that I could see myself.
I remember the nursery ringing through and giving me a message that my son was hungry.
What am I suppose to do? I can't exactly feed him can I? So I had to give permission for his very first feed was to be formula. But nothing I could do about it.
After about 24 hours when my blood pressure had stablised, I was transfered to maternity and given my son for rooming in. It was hard to look after him, and I was so weak I couldn't even stand straight, but I don't know how.....but I breastfed my son.... after an idiot nurse kept trying to shove him on my breast and trying to get me to relax my shoulders all the while pressing him onto the very points where the drips were going in. In the end, she concluded that I won't be able to breastfeed because I was severely anaemic and left me there with drips and a baby...and me too weak to do anything for him.
But I showed her!
I fed him around the clock....I went home and struggled to feed him as much as he wanted. I lost so much weight that I looked like a waif....but I got that boy from 9lb to 11lb in 3 weeks! My milk was pure cream! Don't you dare tell me I was too anaemic to breastfeed! Determination means EVERYTHING!
I breastfed my baby for 12 months....3 months into another pregnancy. Proving to everyone, that with determination, and perseverance and a little bit of prayer....anything is possible.
It was determined that a piece of my placenta, the size of a 10 cent piece was attached the wall of my uterus by 2 or 3 layers, it had to be scraped out. It wasn't going to come out on it's own. And this brings me back to the implantation bleed and I wonder if when the embryo implanted it dug right in...so far in that it affected the placenta's attatchment at that point. But I guess I'll never know for sure, but I'm accutely aware of how lucky I am to be living in this day and age, with the medical care that we have. Many years ago, in the old days....I would have died in childbirth from that. Nothing would have been able to be done, and I would have bled to death. But because of medical intervention and knowhow, and because of my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, I am here.
Rhys is now a robust 12 year old boy. And he can be a handful at times....and sometimes when he's really being a pain in the butt I say to him "I nearly died having you!" jokingly. Then I stop and I remember again, how lucky I am and how lucky my children are that I am alive today :)
I had an ultrasound and the baby was going great but there was a slight smudge that indicated a bleed of some sort. 2 weeks later at 9 weeks, the bleeding and cramping had stopped and I had another ultrasound and saw that everything was doing well.
I look back now and wonder how significant this was in the end. I wonder if there's been any study about implantation and what was going to happen later. To this day I still wonder about that and wonder if it could have been forseen. But at that point I was just really relieved that everything was ok and later in an ultrasound it was revealed that my baby was a very healthy baby boy! And this was more than I could hope for.
From the womb, I knew that Rhys was different. He was strong! I give that to him! He would push his legs down one side and push to the other side and then roll over in a huge sweep. A friend of mine would sit and watch my belly in utter amazement at the rolling and the waves she would see.
Rhys was also very jumpy. I'd be washing the dishes and my belly would be leaning up against the sink and I'd bang a pot on the side of the sink..... and he'd jump! I'd be having a bath and I'd be laying in the bath tub, all quiet then suddenly I'd move my hand and the water would slop onto my tummy....and he'd jump.
Even though my hips ached like anything....and my lower back would get spasms that would radiate down my legs. I enjoyed this pregnancy more than any others ...number one because it was in the middle of winter this time...no heat...no swelling...more comfortable. And number two because watching my belly was pure entertainment for me LOL
However.....I hated the thought of going overdue again. As nice as it all was, I was still in pain and couldn't bear the thought of going overdue again like last time....and it would be lovely to go into labour by myself eh?
So I went and got a mix of lovely aromatherapy oils to rub into my belly. It was a concoction of apricot oil, clary sage and jasmin....as far as I can remember. And it smelt so pretty! So I rubbed this on my belly everynight from about 36 weeks onwards.
The day before my due date, I had an antinatal appointment with an OB, and by this stage I was pretty set with the knowledge that it looked as thought I was going to go overdue again, but if I could at least find out what my cervix was doing then it would give me hope that something is happening or that if I did have to be induced again that I may not have to have the prostin gel again and that things might happen if my waters were broken.
The OB looked at me and said that because I'd had a baby before that my cervix won't be completely closed anyway but he'd check me out and see what's going on. On checking it was found that sure enough the cervix wasn't completely closed and on the soft side...which he said I could go on like that for weeks yet! Yeh ok....thanks mate!
So off I go home again....rub my aromatherapy in and then decide that perhaps having sex might help things along, only when we went to do it, I was swollen down there and it hurt so much that we couldn't do it! I had a shower after that and cried and cried and cried. Then resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to go overdue again!
The next day...was my due date. I just pottered around the house while my BH contractions, which I'd had for months now....kept coming. I wasn't thinking much, only that I thought it might be nice if I chopped up some stuff for a lasagne put it together then when hubby came home, we can pop it in the oven and go for a walk to the park together while it was cooking....then we can come home...eat dinner and I can have a nice warm bath in aromatherapy oils. You never know! It might work!
My plans were dashed when after a little nap on the floor with my daughter, I mosy on into the kitchen to start the lasagne, chopping away I felt a pressure down below. Almost like I was about to fart (yeh I know but it's the only way I can describe it) only instead of farting...my waters bulged then broke, right there... knife in the air mid cut, in the kitchen.
I looked down and it was literally like someone had gotten a glass of water and decided to tip it out, it just gushed...just like that!
I dropped the knife and looked around muttering 'what do I do, what do I do', then suddenly got a bright idea and put my finger up in the air....went to the calandar, looked and saw that it was the 18th of August and then put my thumb up and said "Good day!" Matter of factly just as another gush of water came out.
I guess I couldn't believe that things were happening on its own and that I wasn't technically overdue!
By this time Dana had woken up just as my first contraction hit....and as I was on the phone to my hubby....another one hit! 5 minutes apart!
Err...yeh time to go I think!
Finally got through to my hubby who had stopped by his parent's place on the way home from work. Meanwhile I was running around getting changed and dumping water everywhere, whereever I went. I didn't have any pads though, as my hospital bag was in the car and hubby had the car! So all I could do was shove a bathtowel between my legs and waddle everywhere.
Hubby came home and we had to first drop Dana off at his parent's then pick up his sister who was preg at the time and who I thought would get a kick out of coming to my birth. By this stage contractions were 3 minutes apart. While we were waiting for my sister in law, I rang the hospital and told them i was on my way and my contractions were 3 minutes apart.
Got there and had to walk from the car to the maternity ward....no sorry...waddle...cos of the bath towel.
Straight away they took me upstairs but put me in the birth centre suite for the time being as the only labour ward free at the time was being cleaned from the last birth.
I didn't want to sit or lie on the bed....even though it looked like a lovely big double bed, I just wanted to sit in a chair.
By then contractions were quite painful so I asked for some gas, it gave me something to do, and something to focus on....and something for everyone to laugh at me about in between when I started laughing at nothing in particular. But after a while, things were getting intense and I threw it away....middie tried to give it back to me and I knocked it out of her hand and told her it felt like I was sitting on the baby's head.
She asked me if I was actually sitting on the baby's head, as I was sitting on the side of my butt....and no one had checked me or anything. But I knew I wasn't actually sitting on his head, it just felt like I was....like a big lump was there.
She rushed out to see if the ward was opened or if I was going to have to have the baby right there in the birth suite (which would have been nice) and sure enough everyone was ready for me, so they made me walk....yes walk two rooms down to the ward.
On the way I looked in another room and saw a friend's mum and realised that a friend of mine was in labour too...so I waved to her but then had to quickly get into my room and sit down because I felt my legs starting to get weak and I was afaid I wouldnt' be able to stay standing.
Just as I sat on the bed and laid back on a 45 degree angle (seems to be my favourite position), I lifted my legs and his head came out.
A bunch of doctors came in and perched themselves at the end of the bed and watched, I thougth I recognised the doctor I saw the day before but couldnt' be sure.....I didn't care anyway...I was yellin' that the baby was coming and the middie was yelling at me to stop pushing so she could check the cord, I screamed "I'm not pushing"....then out he slithered! 2 minutes!!!!
Let me say that again....from the time I went from my friend's door to the bed....till he came out, it was 2 minutes! And I never even pushed....not once!!! My body did it all on it's own...I just went with it, and out he came. He slithered out.
9lb 1oz baby boy...big and strong...and he roared like a lion!
But I did it! Look what I did! 1 hour 45 mins from the the time my waters broke, till the time my 9lb baby boy entered the world. NO stitches, man I was a legend! If I could have, I would have yelled on top of my lungs "I'm the king of the world" like Leonardo Dicaprio on Titanic.
What happens after this, is quite vague. But I'll do my best to try and explain it as best I can from memory. It may not be completely accurate or the order may be scewed a bit, but this is my memory of it.
About 5 or 10 minutes after he was born, I was made distinctly aware of some pain in my uterus. Having read up on afterpains, that tend to happen after subsequent births, I assumed that this is what they were. So I told the middie and asked surely that these didn't happen so soon, but she assured me that sometimes they did and asked if I'd like some panadol.
I took some panadol and watched as my sister in law marveled at the strength of my new baby boy.....she had him on her shoulder and he had lifted his head right up off her shoulder and looked around...like a 3 month old. And she kept pointing and saying 'look at this Des' ...but I was distracted as this pain in my uterus started getting worse and worse.
"Would you like a heat pack?" the middie asked.
I readily took it thinking how bad these afterpains were....but as she put the heat pack on, it was quite heavy on my stomach and I coudn't handle the weight of it.
A little concerned, she prodded my stomach and I almost went through the roof from the pain. But it seemed that my uterus wasn't contracting down like it should be and that it was 'boggy'. Looking down she could see that I was losing some blood.
After that....everything was a blur. The blood kept coming....my uterus would swell up...then I would cry out in pain then pass out into oblivion....I'd pass some clots, then I'd come back again and feel a bit better!
This kept happening....and everytime, the midwives kept thinking that when I passed the clots I'd be ok. But I wasn't.
By this stage they were starting to really worry, but I was still quite oblivious. "I'm ok" I'd chime. After each 'episode' I'd come back and say "See?...I'm ok.....I'm a bit of a bleeder" I'd say thinking back to when I lost a bit of blood after having Dana. "Not like this love" They'd reply.
By this stage I'd look over at my hubby and at my SIL and they were both sitting there looking at me in horror. My mother turned up and almost passed out seeing me in a pool of blood and so pale I looked like I was dead, and then I would pass out again....and she's start crying like I was dying.
And I was...
I was dying! Right there, in that labour ward...I was literally dying. In front of my husband, his sister, my mother and my son!
I went into immediate shock...started shivering...and I was so cold. /So very very cold! I wasn't passing clots anymore, the blood was just seeping everywhere....all over the bed, the floor....me. And when the Ob shook a form and a pen at me, to sign consent for surgery, it was only then that I realised that this was really serious.
I couldn't stop shivering....the pain wouldn't stop. And I was barely conscious and all I could do was moan as they wheeled me down the corridor, running the whole way into the operating theatre.
I remember lying there, looking up the ceiling, scared that I was never going to see my children again. The nurse was saying, "We're doing this to you now", "We're going to put this needle in you now." And all I managed to mutter was "I don't care,....just stop the pain".
Then nothing.
I woke up and immediately recognised the fact that I was no longer in any pain....then next I recognised that I felt so unbelievably warm, as they had some inflatable heatblanket on me and it was glorious. Then I just wanted to know where my hubby was and I kept muttering 'W w w w wh wh" and the nurse thought i was asking how I was. She said "You're doing fine now honey...." then she realised I was asking for hubby and she told me he was in the nursery with his son.
Good!....just as it should be!
I was taken to intensive care after that. I had lost 3.5 litres of blood altogether, as far as they could estimate, and was receiving bag after bag of blood. My blood pressure was still really low so they had to moniter me around the clock.
Hubby came in with Dana....on one hand I was glad to see her, but on the other hand I was worried that she'd be afraid of what she saw. I had heart monitors on me, an oxygen mask, two drips, one on each arm. a catheta, and a blood pressure thing on my arm set to go off every 5 minutes. I gather I was a sight.....not that I could see myself.
I remember the nursery ringing through and giving me a message that my son was hungry.
What am I suppose to do? I can't exactly feed him can I? So I had to give permission for his very first feed was to be formula. But nothing I could do about it.
After about 24 hours when my blood pressure had stablised, I was transfered to maternity and given my son for rooming in. It was hard to look after him, and I was so weak I couldn't even stand straight, but I don't know how.....but I breastfed my son.... after an idiot nurse kept trying to shove him on my breast and trying to get me to relax my shoulders all the while pressing him onto the very points where the drips were going in. In the end, she concluded that I won't be able to breastfeed because I was severely anaemic and left me there with drips and a baby...and me too weak to do anything for him.
But I showed her!
I fed him around the clock....I went home and struggled to feed him as much as he wanted. I lost so much weight that I looked like a waif....but I got that boy from 9lb to 11lb in 3 weeks! My milk was pure cream! Don't you dare tell me I was too anaemic to breastfeed! Determination means EVERYTHING!
I breastfed my baby for 12 months....3 months into another pregnancy. Proving to everyone, that with determination, and perseverance and a little bit of prayer....anything is possible.
It was determined that a piece of my placenta, the size of a 10 cent piece was attached the wall of my uterus by 2 or 3 layers, it had to be scraped out. It wasn't going to come out on it's own. And this brings me back to the implantation bleed and I wonder if when the embryo implanted it dug right in...so far in that it affected the placenta's attatchment at that point. But I guess I'll never know for sure, but I'm accutely aware of how lucky I am to be living in this day and age, with the medical care that we have. Many years ago, in the old days....I would have died in childbirth from that. Nothing would have been able to be done, and I would have bled to death. But because of medical intervention and knowhow, and because of my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, I am here.
Rhys is now a robust 12 year old boy. And he can be a handful at times....and sometimes when he's really being a pain in the butt I say to him "I nearly died having you!" jokingly. Then I stop and I remember again, how lucky I am and how lucky my children are that I am alive today :)
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Dana's Birthstory - born 23/03/97
I was 36 weeks and had enough!
It was summertime in the tropics (Bundaberg) and I was huge! My feet were continually swollen and I couldn't get cool no matter what I did. My blood pressure was starting to rise, not that much...but enough to indicate that I was over being pregnant.
I presented to the hospital with some pretty massive contractions, which turned out to be Braxton Hicks, but I wasn't to know that at the time. I was admitted and told that these were 'grey area' contractions...whatever that meant, and that they expect that I'd be in labour by the end of the day.
Turns out that the midwife had mistaken my massive BH contractions with prelabour contractions (I know this now LOL) and 6 weeks later I was 2 WEEKS overdue and still going!
At 41 weeks and 5 days, I was at my wits end, my blood pressure was still borderline, but again nothing to really worry too much about.....and I was even bigger than I was 6 weeks prior....my feet and ankles were even bigger and I felt like I was walking on stumps. My hips ached continuously and had done since about 5 months. And the heat was phenominal!!!! Not to mention that I'd have massive (grey area/prelabour/bh...whatever you feel like calling them) contractions for 3 months straight...to the point of pain!
When a doctor finally told me that they would induce me, I was elated! I wanted this kid out!!! I did not want to be pregnant anymore, I wanted to have this baby already, I was over it! Induction just sounded like a godsend to me!
So I presented on the 21nd....all set to be induced, thinking that this was going to be my baby's birthday. I was admitted and waited for what seemed like hours. Nurses came in and out and said that they didn't think I'd be induced that day. Are you kidding me??? But I kept telling myself that they're only nurses, what would they know.
Hours went by and my hopes were failing as I was preparing to unprepare myself for the birth that wasn't going to happen that day.
Finally at around 4 in the afternoon an Ob came down to tell me that they were actually fixing switchboards or something and although they still had a couple of labour wards open they couldn't justify putting me in labour and using one of them if an emergency walked in and needed it. So he postponed the induction till the following day. He explained that my cervix wasn't even nearly ready yet and they would have to put in the prostglandin gel on the cervix anyway, to soften it.....and this may not even put me in labour and I'd have to be induced the day after that even, If I wasn't lucky enough to go in either on my own or from the stimulous of the prostin' gel.
Oh God!!!!! So I argued the point! "Please?" I said "I can't handle this anymore....I will be exactly 14 days overdue by then!" He told me that in and ideal world he would have me in there right then giving birth, but that this wasn't an ideal world and things happen. So he gave me a gate pass for the night, told me to go out with my hubby and family to sizzler or something and have a nice night out and be back in the morning by 8am and he'd be there!
So we went to sizzler, I tried to enjoy myself. I had cravings for the pumpkin soup they had there so I felt a little better after the soup ;)
The following morning I was there at 8am only he wasn't there till 8.05, I told him that I was disappointed that he was late. So I still had a trace of my sense of humour through all of it ;)
Cervix was still long and tight and no where near soft so in went the prostin gel. And then I walked....I walked and I walked and I walked. Nothing happened!
At lunch time the Dr returned and checked on my progress and my cervix hadn't done much so he inserted some more gel and left. For some reason, my body decided to have a massive reaction to the gel this time and I had a huge contraction that lasted about 3 minutes straight. My legs buckled and I was bent over and in agony!
This is it!
No!
After lying me down, the contraction went away and I was back to the usual BH contractions that I'd always have!
Man!
I couldn't sleep that night! I was hoping so much that I would just go into labour myself. I was hoping that the gel was enough and that my body would just take over on it's own. I was given a sleeping tablet so I could get some much needed rest....lord knows I would need it for the induction the next morning, but I still had a restless sleep, tossing and turning and sweating all night....to wake up in the morning in bitter disappointment that I was still 'intact' and that the pool of 'wetness' underneath me was NOT my bag of waters that I'd hope they'd be....it was sweat!
*sigh*
But today was the day! This was it! I was going to be induced today! So I pulled myself together and got excited.
8am
First thing - Cervix checked....and yes it was starting to soften - yay!
Second thing - My waters were broken
Third thing - Syntosin (sp?) started.
Fourth thing - Strapped in with monitors.
Then we waited...and waited....and yes I had a few contractions. The syntosin is designed to get contractions happening - but I wasn't in established labour. I was given till lunch time to see if things would kick in and then they were going to up the syntosin drip.
By then I was bored, hungry and sick of sitting around in bed. So I asked if I could go for a walk around (after all walking is suppose to help right?), so after they turned up the syntosin, I went for a stroll. So here I was walking up and down the corridors with my friend the drip, and I don't mean my husband either ;)
I craved chicken twisties so I asked my mum to run out and grab me a packet and by the time I'd gotten back to the labour ward she had returned with the twisties.
So here I was sitting on the edge of the bed...happily eating my twisties and I remember saying to my mother "I wonder when the contractions will start - these are really dumb" then it hit me! A mammoth contraction lasting for about 3 or 4 minutes! Just like the day before! My stomach had clamped down and I was bent over...and yelling on top of my lungs with chewed up twisties dribbling down my chin.
It seemed that my body decided to get it's act together...right when the drip decided to finally work.
It was on!
Contraction after contraction....one after another, no space in between! It was just on and on and I was in agony! I asked for gas....sucked on that....did nothing. I asked for peth...got a jab of that....did nothing. By then I was 6 cm dilated and I just kept thinking I had ages to go. I'd been at it for 3.5 hours and the middie said that on average we'd expect another 4 hours (cm an hour). 4 hours?? So I begged for the epidural!
I don't know if they gave me a half block or what....but it also did nothing! zilch nada felt everything - nothing!
I went from 6cm to 10cm in half an hour though, and suddenly I was in transition and yelling like no tomorrow! I kept saying over and over 'hurry up hurry up'. I didn't want it to end, I didn't want to go home....I hated the pain but I knew the only way it would stop is when the baby came out! So that's what I focused on. I pushed and pushed....and really I don't even think I was pushing all that much as my body was just doing it. If felt like my body was taking over and I couldn't help but bare down along with my body. 15 minutes it took.
15 minutes it took for my 9lb 5.5oz baby girl to grace us with her precence.
And it was over!
4 hrs it took all up and it was finally over!
All I could do is make 'relief' noises over and over and I repeated 'my baby, my baby' over and over as they put this slimy alien like 'thing' on my chest!
But that 'thing' was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. She didn't even cry. All she did was whinge as if to say "Hey I'm trying to sleep here"...but then after a while she opened her eyes and she was the most alert baby I'd ever seen.
I have video footage to this day of her and her father just looking at each other in sheer amazement as he held her. It was a beautiful moment and I'm glad my mum captured it.
Meanwhile, I had torn a little and needed stitches. Thankfully there weren't too many but I remember how awful it was to have my legs strapped up in stirrups while the doctor's head was cms away from my hoo haa while she stitched me up. I asked for the gas,....just so I could bliss out during that part LOL
I'd lost a little blood, just enough for the doctor to let me know that I may want to go on iron tabs for a while...but nothing to worry about.
Apart from that....no complications and a big, fat, healthy baby girl.
That alertness and observation skills never left her. She has grown up to be a very perceptive young lady who is a joy to have as a teenager.
It was summertime in the tropics (Bundaberg) and I was huge! My feet were continually swollen and I couldn't get cool no matter what I did. My blood pressure was starting to rise, not that much...but enough to indicate that I was over being pregnant.
I presented to the hospital with some pretty massive contractions, which turned out to be Braxton Hicks, but I wasn't to know that at the time. I was admitted and told that these were 'grey area' contractions...whatever that meant, and that they expect that I'd be in labour by the end of the day.
Turns out that the midwife had mistaken my massive BH contractions with prelabour contractions (I know this now LOL) and 6 weeks later I was 2 WEEKS overdue and still going!
At 41 weeks and 5 days, I was at my wits end, my blood pressure was still borderline, but again nothing to really worry too much about.....and I was even bigger than I was 6 weeks prior....my feet and ankles were even bigger and I felt like I was walking on stumps. My hips ached continuously and had done since about 5 months. And the heat was phenominal!!!! Not to mention that I'd have massive (grey area/prelabour/bh...whatever you feel like calling them) contractions for 3 months straight...to the point of pain!
When a doctor finally told me that they would induce me, I was elated! I wanted this kid out!!! I did not want to be pregnant anymore, I wanted to have this baby already, I was over it! Induction just sounded like a godsend to me!
So I presented on the 21nd....all set to be induced, thinking that this was going to be my baby's birthday. I was admitted and waited for what seemed like hours. Nurses came in and out and said that they didn't think I'd be induced that day. Are you kidding me??? But I kept telling myself that they're only nurses, what would they know.
Hours went by and my hopes were failing as I was preparing to unprepare myself for the birth that wasn't going to happen that day.
Finally at around 4 in the afternoon an Ob came down to tell me that they were actually fixing switchboards or something and although they still had a couple of labour wards open they couldn't justify putting me in labour and using one of them if an emergency walked in and needed it. So he postponed the induction till the following day. He explained that my cervix wasn't even nearly ready yet and they would have to put in the prostglandin gel on the cervix anyway, to soften it.....and this may not even put me in labour and I'd have to be induced the day after that even, If I wasn't lucky enough to go in either on my own or from the stimulous of the prostin' gel.
Oh God!!!!! So I argued the point! "Please?" I said "I can't handle this anymore....I will be exactly 14 days overdue by then!" He told me that in and ideal world he would have me in there right then giving birth, but that this wasn't an ideal world and things happen. So he gave me a gate pass for the night, told me to go out with my hubby and family to sizzler or something and have a nice night out and be back in the morning by 8am and he'd be there!
So we went to sizzler, I tried to enjoy myself. I had cravings for the pumpkin soup they had there so I felt a little better after the soup ;)
The following morning I was there at 8am only he wasn't there till 8.05, I told him that I was disappointed that he was late. So I still had a trace of my sense of humour through all of it ;)
Cervix was still long and tight and no where near soft so in went the prostin gel. And then I walked....I walked and I walked and I walked. Nothing happened!
At lunch time the Dr returned and checked on my progress and my cervix hadn't done much so he inserted some more gel and left. For some reason, my body decided to have a massive reaction to the gel this time and I had a huge contraction that lasted about 3 minutes straight. My legs buckled and I was bent over and in agony!
This is it!
No!
After lying me down, the contraction went away and I was back to the usual BH contractions that I'd always have!
Man!
I couldn't sleep that night! I was hoping so much that I would just go into labour myself. I was hoping that the gel was enough and that my body would just take over on it's own. I was given a sleeping tablet so I could get some much needed rest....lord knows I would need it for the induction the next morning, but I still had a restless sleep, tossing and turning and sweating all night....to wake up in the morning in bitter disappointment that I was still 'intact' and that the pool of 'wetness' underneath me was NOT my bag of waters that I'd hope they'd be....it was sweat!
*sigh*
But today was the day! This was it! I was going to be induced today! So I pulled myself together and got excited.
8am
First thing - Cervix checked....and yes it was starting to soften - yay!
Second thing - My waters were broken
Third thing - Syntosin (sp?) started.
Fourth thing - Strapped in with monitors.
Then we waited...and waited....and yes I had a few contractions. The syntosin is designed to get contractions happening - but I wasn't in established labour. I was given till lunch time to see if things would kick in and then they were going to up the syntosin drip.
By then I was bored, hungry and sick of sitting around in bed. So I asked if I could go for a walk around (after all walking is suppose to help right?), so after they turned up the syntosin, I went for a stroll. So here I was walking up and down the corridors with my friend the drip, and I don't mean my husband either ;)
I craved chicken twisties so I asked my mum to run out and grab me a packet and by the time I'd gotten back to the labour ward she had returned with the twisties.
So here I was sitting on the edge of the bed...happily eating my twisties and I remember saying to my mother "I wonder when the contractions will start - these are really dumb" then it hit me! A mammoth contraction lasting for about 3 or 4 minutes! Just like the day before! My stomach had clamped down and I was bent over...and yelling on top of my lungs with chewed up twisties dribbling down my chin.
It seemed that my body decided to get it's act together...right when the drip decided to finally work.
It was on!
Contraction after contraction....one after another, no space in between! It was just on and on and I was in agony! I asked for gas....sucked on that....did nothing. I asked for peth...got a jab of that....did nothing. By then I was 6 cm dilated and I just kept thinking I had ages to go. I'd been at it for 3.5 hours and the middie said that on average we'd expect another 4 hours (cm an hour). 4 hours?? So I begged for the epidural!
I don't know if they gave me a half block or what....but it also did nothing! zilch nada felt everything - nothing!
I went from 6cm to 10cm in half an hour though, and suddenly I was in transition and yelling like no tomorrow! I kept saying over and over 'hurry up hurry up'. I didn't want it to end, I didn't want to go home....I hated the pain but I knew the only way it would stop is when the baby came out! So that's what I focused on. I pushed and pushed....and really I don't even think I was pushing all that much as my body was just doing it. If felt like my body was taking over and I couldn't help but bare down along with my body. 15 minutes it took.
15 minutes it took for my 9lb 5.5oz baby girl to grace us with her precence.
And it was over!
4 hrs it took all up and it was finally over!
All I could do is make 'relief' noises over and over and I repeated 'my baby, my baby' over and over as they put this slimy alien like 'thing' on my chest!
But that 'thing' was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. She didn't even cry. All she did was whinge as if to say "Hey I'm trying to sleep here"...but then after a while she opened her eyes and she was the most alert baby I'd ever seen.
I have video footage to this day of her and her father just looking at each other in sheer amazement as he held her. It was a beautiful moment and I'm glad my mum captured it.
Meanwhile, I had torn a little and needed stitches. Thankfully there weren't too many but I remember how awful it was to have my legs strapped up in stirrups while the doctor's head was cms away from my hoo haa while she stitched me up. I asked for the gas,....just so I could bliss out during that part LOL
I'd lost a little blood, just enough for the doctor to let me know that I may want to go on iron tabs for a while...but nothing to worry about.
Apart from that....no complications and a big, fat, healthy baby girl.
That alertness and observation skills never left her. She has grown up to be a very perceptive young lady who is a joy to have as a teenager.
Recording History
I wrote my birthstories years ago but have since lost them. I'm a bit upset by it as they were written closer to when they actually happened, and over time one tends to forget certain aspects. So I've decided to record my birthstories again. Not only that but I'll be recording things like my breastfeeding history and things like that also.
Another reason I'm doing this, is because I have a friend who wishes to write a book about REAL life pregnancies and childbirths and things like that, and needs anacdotes of real stories from people. I'm hoping to contribute to that somewhat. Years ago I thought about doing it myself but never got around to doing it, so I'm glad she is though, because this kind of thing is really needed. A book that mums and mums to be can read that actually have real live accounts instead of textbook information that seem so out of touch and sterile. Plus it will give readers info on things that THEY don't tell you ;)
So over the next....I don't know....however long, I'll be writing my birthstories and things and might even set up separate links at the top so that they can be easily accessed.
Another reason I'm doing this, is because I have a friend who wishes to write a book about REAL life pregnancies and childbirths and things like that, and needs anacdotes of real stories from people. I'm hoping to contribute to that somewhat. Years ago I thought about doing it myself but never got around to doing it, so I'm glad she is though, because this kind of thing is really needed. A book that mums and mums to be can read that actually have real live accounts instead of textbook information that seem so out of touch and sterile. Plus it will give readers info on things that THEY don't tell you ;)
So over the next....I don't know....however long, I'll be writing my birthstories and things and might even set up separate links at the top so that they can be easily accessed.
Wedding update!
Well there's a reason I haven't updated in a while and that's because, after much thought, we have decided to change the date of our wedding to the 2nd June. So this means that the stress of how we're going to get through christmas and kids going to school....then the wedding moneywise. We have been a bit stressed out thinking about it and now I'm able to relax a tad and start up again in the new year.
However just before we changed the date I had only just ordered our bombonieres and our invitations from ebay....and......luckily was able to quickly email the sellers and get the dates changed as they were all going to be personalised!
The bom's haven't turned up yet but our invitations turned up the other day and wow! They are so beautiful....better than what they looked like in the pics. They came from the UK and the lady that did them did such a great job and got them finished really fast. They turned up the other day and I almost cried because I was so happy with them.
Also, last monday I ordered my flowers too! And the funny thing is, is that they are fake flowers from a guy here in Toowoomba who's flowers all look so real, and I had picked up a wedding mag from some venue I was looking at months ago. It was a wedding mag with tips in it and various businesses in Toowoomba, from florists to hairdressers. Well there was this article talking about flowers and what a bride should look for and when they should order them, giving tips on what we should do blah blah blah. And the picture was this beautiful bouquet of white and pick roses, and I marked the page so I could take it to this guy with the fake flowers and show him that this is exactly what I wanted....
Well I show it to him and he looked at me and said that it was his bouquet anyway, and that yes he can most definetly do it exactly like that since he's the one who made it in the first place! How funny is that! So at least I know I'll get exactly what I want. Anyway I ordered my bouquet and 3 more little ones for the girls and paid my deposit. So something else I can cross off my list now - yay!
However just before we changed the date I had only just ordered our bombonieres and our invitations from ebay....and......luckily was able to quickly email the sellers and get the dates changed as they were all going to be personalised!
The bom's haven't turned up yet but our invitations turned up the other day and wow! They are so beautiful....better than what they looked like in the pics. They came from the UK and the lady that did them did such a great job and got them finished really fast. They turned up the other day and I almost cried because I was so happy with them.
Also, last monday I ordered my flowers too! And the funny thing is, is that they are fake flowers from a guy here in Toowoomba who's flowers all look so real, and I had picked up a wedding mag from some venue I was looking at months ago. It was a wedding mag with tips in it and various businesses in Toowoomba, from florists to hairdressers. Well there was this article talking about flowers and what a bride should look for and when they should order them, giving tips on what we should do blah blah blah. And the picture was this beautiful bouquet of white and pick roses, and I marked the page so I could take it to this guy with the fake flowers and show him that this is exactly what I wanted....
Well I show it to him and he looked at me and said that it was his bouquet anyway, and that yes he can most definetly do it exactly like that since he's the one who made it in the first place! How funny is that! So at least I know I'll get exactly what I want. Anyway I ordered my bouquet and 3 more little ones for the girls and paid my deposit. So something else I can cross off my list now - yay!
Coming off Zoloft Cold Turkey - Update!
Well it's probably been about 6-8 weeks now since I've been on them and by now the chemicals should be pretty much out of my system. Although I did have another brain zap yesterday, out of the blue, and I hadn't had that for quite a while but apart from that no other side affect. My headaches have well and truly gone but unfortunately I still have the 'weight' so now I know it probably wasn't the zoloft that made me fat....bummer!
I'm also not feeling so run down or anything either. Don't feel like I'm coming down with something anymore, almost back to normal in my energy levels. Although I reckon I could still use some more energy ;)
Mood wise, I notice that when I'm agitated it's more pronounced.....which is probably what normal people feel like when they're not being doped up with zoloft LOL. I still feel every emotion, but they are a little more exagerated than what they were while on the meds.
I'm learning who I am without the depression and without being on medication. I've had to learn what my personality REALLY is, without all that. And I don't think I've really figured it out yet. At the moment I'm just going with the flow and letting it all happen.
I'm enjoying not flipping out everytime I come off my meds (by forgetting my prescription)...I realise I'm probably not as neurotic as I once thought LOL
So all in all it's been a positive move coming off zoloft and I'm very happy I did it!
I'm also not feeling so run down or anything either. Don't feel like I'm coming down with something anymore, almost back to normal in my energy levels. Although I reckon I could still use some more energy ;)
Mood wise, I notice that when I'm agitated it's more pronounced.....which is probably what normal people feel like when they're not being doped up with zoloft LOL. I still feel every emotion, but they are a little more exagerated than what they were while on the meds.
I'm learning who I am without the depression and without being on medication. I've had to learn what my personality REALLY is, without all that. And I don't think I've really figured it out yet. At the moment I'm just going with the flow and letting it all happen.
I'm enjoying not flipping out everytime I come off my meds (by forgetting my prescription)...I realise I'm probably not as neurotic as I once thought LOL
So all in all it's been a positive move coming off zoloft and I'm very happy I did it!
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